Not That Much of a Bastard
by Lunacy Edge
Summary: "You are not like a rotten tomato, Lovi!" … "Even if you remind me of a particularly healthy and tasty one when your face goes all bright red from embarrassment... just like now!"  - SpainxRomano / Romano's POV
1. Rotten Tomato

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 1

**Rotten Tomato**

Facing the things as they are... it isn't that bad.

Sure, there is nothing to do, and, my only company is my idiotic brother, who keeps whining, over and over again, about the same subject: his bloody potato freak. But, I have a thing in my favour: the dinner. I'm not in charge today, which means I can just relax on the couch without caring a thing.

Then, again, there isn't anything to do.

The TV only shows crap, I've watched every freaking film that we have, and, there isn't anything going on. For once. In the world, I mean. No wars or conquests. Just the damn crisis and stuff alike. Not that I'm saying I want a war. No, I didn't say that. But... I never got bored when I was little... there were so many things going on... and I was at Spain's, who didn't spent the day talking about some idiotic potato-head. I-I'm not saying I want to live there again, either. It's just... I never told him, but... it wasn't as bad as I made it seem, at that time.

Except for one thing.

Every time I did things wrong... he never... he always... He was quite nice. Not that I'm going to say that to his face. Ever. But, he was. He is, dammit!

Not to mention... how can anyone be so... cheerful, all the time? The bastard is always freaking smiling! H-How is that even possible? I wonder if his face ever gets tired of that. It must, right?

I remember one time, back when I was little, I wanted to see if he could just stop being so bright for a considerably long while. I kept on doing crap (even if it wasn't on purpose), however, I tried extra hard to act like it wasn't such a big deal.

But, as always, after the initially surprised reaction, he would always, always, give me a little sad smile and clean up the mess I did. It wouldn't take even an hour, before he was all happy again, trying to hug everyone, like the fate of his country, his people, freaking depended on it.

I mean, his parenting methods... where the hell are they? Shouldn't he had punished me for messing up and stuff? 'N-Not saying I would accept any punishment without freaking hinting him or something, but... how could he know that? Am I that bad... that aggressive and... that much of a bastard?

I'm like a rotten tomato... ain't I?

I mean, what's the point in eating it, if it will taste like crap?

What's the point in educating me- Heck! What's the point in even be alongside me, if I'll... act like a piece of crap...

Which means everyone noticed this so far. Except Feliciano, of course, but, he's dense as a rock, so, I'm not that surprise. And, he's always eager to go to his damn idiot potato head, anyway. He could spent all day long praising him... well, he actually does... but, when it comes to say something nice about me he just puts up a sorrowful look and awkwardly backs away.

A rotten tomato._ Nice._

That was sarcasm, by the way.

It sounds like quite some philosophical shit, doesn't it? I wonder if-

Someone rang the doorbell. I look over to the wall clock just to see it's a little past eight. Who the hell- If it's that potato-head, he won't freaking take Feliciano with him. He's cooking the damn dinner, dammit! If he thinks he can just appear in here and take him away, he's freaking dreaming! I'm not going to starve just because he wants to get laid or what the hell that they do at his house. Bastards.

"Brother, brother~!" Great. Now, it's the time when he tells me I have to make my own freaking dinner. When I was at Spain's, he would never, ever do that. Even when the wine bastard and the crazy albino dude stopped by, he would finish the damn dinner and eat with me. I could yell and kick him, he would still stay.

I remember once... I was about to go in his living room when I realized he was at the phone. I hesitated for a brief second and accidentally heard the end of the conversation.

_«I'm sorry, Francis. I want to stay here tonight. You guys go on without me.»_

I remember I was about to jump in front of him, demanding him to go away and leave me alone.

_«I-I'm just worried. I couldn't have any fun being somewhere else but with Lovi, I would be to concern about him, you know that.»_

_«Yeah, that makes sense. The tomato bastard is concern I'll set his damn house on fire or __something, isn't he?»_ I remember thinking that.

_«He's so young... I don't want him to grow up feeling lonely. He needs to realize I really do care about him.»_

I believe my exact thoughts, at that moment, were _«THE HECK.»._

Anyway, that was quite troublesome at the time. I started working harder to try and help him without his recognition. I was very confused, I really wanted to know if that was true. But, as always, I screwed things up. His sad smile felt more and more like a punch in the guts, every time I saw it.

"Brother~! Are you listening?"

I guess I dozed off for a bit. But, I shall leave such things behind me for now, since I'll have to get myself some freaking dinner. I'm not seeing potato bastard waiting around for Feliciano that much. He will probably end up kidnapping him if I don't get in the kitchen (from where Feliciano's voice is coming) quickly. They seem to be glued together, more and more, each day it passes.

"Just go already, you idiot! I'll be fine by myself!" I spat the words out, teeth pressed together in irritation. I don't care if I stay alone... again. _Chigi!_ I need no one!

And, just as I was trying to believe my own thoughts, I hear a confused "Vee~?" coming from the other side of the living room door, and, in about two seconds, the said door was open to reveal the ones that probably are the most clueless idiots on earth.

"L-Lovi~!" the green-eyed idiot started, with a nervous, yet wide, smile. "What was that about, hehe~..."

Dammit!

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_This must the be the most boring chapter of the whole story (I always have troubles with beginnings). I know where this is heading, so... don't get scared away just yet. Hehe~ ^^;_

_By the way, this is the first fanfiction I upload here. I would be very happy to know if there is someone interested in continuing reading this. ))_

_Also, I am very sorry about any possible mistakes. You see, English is not my mother language. ''OTL_

_Ergo, I hope you guys like it~. ^^_


	2. The Glass Door

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 2

**The Glass Door**

This idiot. What the hell is he doing in my house?

"Like I'm going to tell you, bastard!" I managed to shout after I had zoomed out from the situation for a few seconds. "What the hell are you doing here anyway, dammit?"

Spain's smile grew weaker.

"Brother, don't be like that, big brother Spain came to visit us~! Isn't that nice~!" I decided not to answer. "Say, big brother Spain, will you have dinner with us? I'm making pasta~!" Feliciano said, sounding quite proud of himself for some reason I can't poke at.

"Ever thought of freaking consulting me before asking random people to have dinner at our house, dammit?"

"Random people...?" it seemed as if Spain was speaking more to himself, than to any of us, really. His face took a more serious expression. It doesn't suit him. _At all._ I-I mean, n-not that I care or even notice what kind of expressions suit him. _At all._

"I-I'm sorry, brother~! B-But you also like big brother Spain, right~? He isn't a random person, right~?" His face lit up in a little smile. "Can I ask him to join us for dinner, then~?"

"Like I care, bastard! Do as you wish, dammit!" And, with that, I got up from the couch and headed to my right, my footsteps sounding rushed and full of nerve. I opened the glass door and left to the patio, closing with a quick movement, as not wanting to be seen.

Well, that's just foolish, isn't it?

I mean, if I didn't want to be seen, or, at least, to be noticed like that... I wouldn't talk the way I talk, act the way I act, would I? Now that I think of it... Is this just a weird and _oh-so-very-__loud_ pray for attention from my part?

Damn! I feel philosophical today! I blame that potato-head bastard! If him and my brother weren't all over each other all the time, I would think it was him at the door and I wouldn't get so pissed of by the sight of Spain in the first place. Not that I wouldn't be pissed of by seeing Spain if I wasn't expecting the other bastard, but, you get the point.

Spain always confused me, since I was little.

There was a time when he nagged Austria constantly, trying to switch me with my brother. I wasn't happy about that. I really, _really_ wasn't. I mean, I didn't inherited grandpa Rome's looks or his aptness to paint. The only good thing I had was Spain, dammit! I-I mean, S-Spain's house! S-SPAIN'S FREAKING HOUSE!

…

DAMMIT!

Ah… A-Anyway... When I found out the bastard was trying to get rid of me like that, it made me upset. Who wouldn't be? Trying to trade me for my brother! I-I mean, it's a _good house_! A bright and nice house! With lots of windows and, even now, I can still get completely lost in it... _t-that house..._

Later on, he ended up realizing I wasn't happy about his actions. I noticed that when he started to spoil me, being extra nice and always asking my opinion on things. He would even give me baskets full of tomatoes more often and hug me and tell me how cute I was. Then, I would headbutt him on the stomach. Although, such attention felt... quite nice.

I felt the movement of my chest, as I sighed.

That was a really long time ago.

I looked up to the sky to notice the night had fallen already. Although it was a bit chilly, it still felt nice being outside, sitting in the wooden porch. I've grown used to walk around the house without any shoes on lately, so, I allowed myself to feel the grass ever so lightly under my feet. Feliciano had been gardening and watering the whole garden not so long ago, so it felt really refreshing... relaxing... I'm kind of tired... Maybe I'll just lay down for a while...

**x**

"Lovi~!" I felt something brushing the top of my hear, fiddling with my hair. "Oi, Lovi~!" Whatever it was, it stopped. Hmm... I don't care... I was having such a wonderful dream... It involved a huge tomato pizza and stepping the potato bastard. Dammit! Maybe, if I don't open my eyes, the dream will return. I still feel light-headed, anyway. "_Ah~! Eres tan lindo, mi Lovino~. Especialmente cuando duermes~._" What I just noticed to be a hand pursued playing with my hair. Dangerously close to my curl. _Now, I'm awake._

"Dammit, bastard!"

Spain screamed in a higher pinch than his normal voice (in a quite amusing way, if I can say for myself) and backed away from me. And, like it wasn't enough to prove his point, he jumped to the grass below us and covered his … hmm... v-_vital regions_ with his hands.

"Please, Lovino! No need to headbutt and crush my stomach or... other areas!"

"What the heck, bastard! I'm not going to do that!"

"Ah~!" He sounded _very_ relieved. "I knew you wouldn't, Lovi~!" Pff! _It shows._ He took his hands from... where he had putted then moments ago. "You know, I-"

"It freaking hurts my head doing so, dammit."

For a moment, he just stared at me, as if I had thrown cold water at his face. Then he laughed lightly. Such a idiot he is. The freaking bastard.

"Ah~! Lovino~! I missed you~!"

I can feel my cheeks burning just by his tone.

Now... he said he- W-What? T-The bastard! Saying that! I don't like when he says stuff like that! It makes my brain to go mushy... in several weird, _yet not bad,_ ways, dammit! He's an idiot! I should kick him in the parts he seemed so eager to protect, after all. But I decided I could hurt myself in the process. He may seem like a complete douche sometimes, but he is quite though.

I feel another thought crossing my mind... It only had been two damn weeks since the last time I saw him. Even if it was two moths, two years, for all I care, what the hell does he miss about me? My so many _original_ ways to break his possessions, dammit? Does he like to have his freaking house ruined or something?

I didn't had time to ask that, I'm not even sure if I was going to, anyway, I often surprise myself with my own damn words... yes, pejorative language included. It's not like I think I should add some freaking swears to a perfectly formed sentence. It just happens, it was a stupid habit I raised since I remember.

I heard the glass door sliding in a quick, firm movement, breaking my line of thoughts. Spain, who had been staring at me like some freaking psycho, smiling his head off, looked to the inside of the house. I noticed the glow on his eyes changed (did it... _softened_?), when they left me.

"Vee~! The pasta's ready~!"

**x-x-x**

"_Ah~! Eres tan lindo, mi Lovino~. Especialmente cuando duermes~."_ → "Ah~! You're so cute, my Lovino~. Especially when you're asleep~."

_**x-x-x**_

_**A/N**_

_It makes me happy, writing this~. It's fun to try putting myself in Romano's head... or at least what I think Romano's head is like. Ah~! He's one of those characters that just grows on a person, isn't he? ))_

_Anyway, I wanted to post this up earlier, but I was at my grandma's. Which means not having internet at all. I'll allow myself to say "Dammit!", haha~._

_Now, something more cheerful: Thank you guys~. For the reviews (it made me happy to read them) and for the favourites and the... hmm... alerting thing to keep on track with the story~. It makes me motivated to see that the first chapter, even being as dull as it was, caught your eye in some way. I'm not very fond of this chapter either, but, if I started to jump from scene to scene, it would look weird. I hope it gets more interesting from now on (at least, what I have in mind is quite more interesting, I hope I can pass it to words without losing it's... essence). Also, I'm confused with the genre of this story, right now. I don't really think it has one. ''OTL_

_I'll continue this for I-have-no-idea-how-many chapters._

_By the way, I'm truly sorry for the long comment~! I won't type as much in my next author notes, don't worry. And, again, hope you like it~! ))))_

_Oh! Oh! I'm sorry! It's just one more thing: Fear my love for the romantic languages~! Haha~!_

_'This to say I'm not sure if the little bit of Spanish I wrote is mistakes free. I wrote the thing myself, then, cheeked in Google Translator. But that thing is freakish to the bone (I hate it when it confuses the time of the verbs)! Ergo, I don't trust it much. I prefer to rely on myself. )) So, if you see a mistake, feel free to tell me. No worries, I won't, ah, headbutt you in the stomach or anything, haha~!_

_And, now it's for real: ENJOY~!_


	3. Tomato Sauce and Ice Cream

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 3

**Tomato Sauce and Ice Cream**

I poured some more tomato sauce onto the pasta I had in my plate, and, once more, tasted it. Hmm... It didn't felt good just yet. Gladly, Feliciano was smart enough to do a fairly big bowl of it, considering that the _tomato lord_ itself is dinning with us. Where the hell is he anyway?

"Feliciano, where's the bastard?" I heard myself saying, not really noticing what I was doing.

"Oh! Which one, brother~?" he asked in a carefree way, while he hanged an oven glove in its place.

"_Which one?_"

"Well... you call everyone that, so..."

"There is only one bastard dinning with us tonight, right?"

Right?

"Ah~! Big brother Spain went washing his hands~!"

Washing his hands? How long does he take to wash his hands? He's been away for... hmm... ten minutes? The bastard could even be taking a bath by now, with that much time- Oh. _The mental images._ Dammit! Dammit! Go away! The hell! I don't want to freaking think in such things! AHH! DAMMIT ALL!

"Brother?" Feliciano had got closer to where I sat and was trying to reach his hand over my forehead. "Are you okay? You look very blushed and odd..."

"I'm fine you idiot! I'm not freaking blushed and odd! What are you trying to do with my damn forehead, anyway!" I snap his hand away and, for a moment, he just stared at me with a blank expression. Then, he smiled.

"You always feel my forehead when I seem sick, right~? Because, when one's sick, it can have a fever, and, that's not very good..." he said.

I... couldn't answer that.

He made sense, for once. I mean, I know he's not very bright or anything, but, sometimes, he proves to have more brains than it seems... And, I've found myself thinking, if he knows something, it is true, and, it is obvious.

I allowed myself to tap his head softly (well, I, at least, tried – he was still up on his feet) to make him see that it was alright and he smiled more.

"Brother can say careless things sometimes, but he does care~!"

Is he... Is he praising me?

"Ah~! That's true, Ita-chan~! Lovi acts all crazy, but, he is _lovely_~! I noticed the tomato bastard was standing not so far away from the table. How long has he been there? A-And that sort of stuff again! I should be freaking hatting this guy by now! Why can't I, dammit?

"Shut up, you two!"

"Oh! You're getting all blushed, Lovi! Are you okay? Maybe you have a fever, let me check." Spain run in my direction and pressed a hand against my forehead with a "_tap_". It wasn't a particular gentle gesture (even if that was his intention), but his hand felt softer than I expected and I can sense his fingers lightly brushing my skin.

Although I could actually feel myself stupidly blushing before, it's not that I feel myself blushing more now... no, not only that... because, my cheeks are freaking _burning_ already, dammit!

This is very, _very_ embarrassing.

"Don't touch me, bastard! Dammit! I have no fever!" I try to snap his hand away from my forehead, but he decides to grab both my hands in the process. D-Dammit! T-The freaking idiot! I can feel my cheeks burning even more. He's to strong, I can't jerk my hand away from his grip.

"Lovi-" he whispered, in a more serious tone. And I'll admit it, that gave a weird sensation in the stomach... am I going to puck or something?

"L-LET'S EAT! DAMMIT!" I surprised myself with that. And, apparently, I surprised both of them, as well.

"Oh! That's a good idea, brother~! Maybe you'll feel better if you eat!" Feliciano sounded cheered up and Spain _finally_ let go of my hand. That was a bit... I don't freaking know... it actually made me feel that it wasn't that bad to have his hand around mine... J-Just because my stupid hand feels colder now! Yes! It _must_ be because of that, dammit! The bastard!

Then, my brother sat down in the chair in front of me. Which means, the tomato bastard is free to decide to either sit at mine or my brother's side. Obviously, he would never miss a chance to freaking annoy me or the hell that he likes to do. And, the best way to do so so is for him to sit besides me.

I tried to ignore it and went for the bowl of tomato sauce, once more. I only noticed Spain was doing the same when I saw his hand on my camp of vision, which was focused on the said bowl. When I looked at him, I noticed he was already on his feet, bent over the table, with his arm stretched out to grab the tomato sauce's spoon, like I was. He stared at me, for a moment, before his face lit up in a smile.

I sat back down in that same second, just like my body and the chair were opposite sides of a magnet. Which means, it freaking hurt, dammit!

The rest of the dinner was less nerve raking. We managed to talk calmly with each others... well, they were the ones to talk calmly, I suppose... Not to mention I didn't talked all that much. But they seemed content, so I didn't feel like ruining the mood by saying much.

Now, it's time for some fine Italian ice cream. That... makes _me_ content.

"Ah~! Please, help yourselves~!" Feliciano sang, while he poured the said desert (a freaking tone at a time, I must say) in his bowl.

I waited for my brother to stop acting like the ice cream was the freaking secret to eternal youth, before I stretched my arm to serve myself. Once again, Spain seemed to be on the same timing that me. But I was the first to notice this time.

He had his eyes closed in tune with his smile of satisfaction. He was also making a happy "hmm" sound. It made him look... kind of peaceful... like there wasn't a problem in the whole freaking world.

I wish I could feel like that...

I got distracted looking at his face. So, it didn't crossed my mind to take my hand of the way. I only realised it when I felt his own hand brushing on top of mine. I-It sent a chill down my spine... and I feel kind off awkward now. Stupid bastard. He opened his eyes with a surprised expression and looked over at me.

Why do I keep staring?

Why does _he_ keep staring?

Dammit!

After a few seconds, he blinked and pulled his hand of mine like he had been burnt. "I-I'm sorry..."

I really don't want to answer. Not to mention I feel like my face is freaking melting. Mind as well stuff my face in the ice cream bowl. On a second thought, _I_ could stuff _his_ face in there, instead.

That would prove my point... whatever that may be...

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_I'm facing myself with something I didn't bother much before. I'm such a idiot. ''OTL_

_You see, the actions keep flowing nicely (at least in my head), but I'm struggling with the POV. I'm so afraid I'll go OOC. I mean, it is fanfiction, it is always a bit OOC, but, I want to keep it as plausible as I can. If you have any tips and/or suggestions about that, I would be happy to heard them. ^^;_

_Anyway, thank you so much for the support. It really gives me the will I need to keep on writing this. I have some good stuff that I want to write down in future chapters (hopefully it will start in the next), so, stay tuned~. ;)_

_I'll try to update at least once a week, by the way._

_And, since an anonymous reviewer asked, I may as well answer here... My native language is- Wait! What do you think it is? Can anyone guess? I'll reveal it, eventually. 'Just wanted to know some thoughts, haha~. ))_

_Anyway, enjoy~!_


	4. Warmth

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 4

**Warmth**

After we finished dinner, I headed back to the living room. Spain stayed behind. I guess he probably decided to help my brother with the dishes. I... I don't care...

Lying myself on the bean bag at the right side of the sofa (actually, I just kind of thrown myself at it), I started hearing some voices. I turned around on the comfy seat so I could see the television. _Sì_, just as I though, it was still on...

… Hmm... Damn ads are getting stupider each day it passes...

I'm going to _zap_ through the channels. Maybe there's hope.

**x**

Ten minutes later, I came across a weird and corny _telenovela_ and realized there was no freaking hope. At all. Then, to make it all a big joke, Spain and my brother walked in the room. The latest running happily to the bean bag on the opposite side of the sofa.

"Ah, Lovi~! What are watchi-" Spain stared at the television for no more than half of a second. "_Oh! Yo amo esta telenovela~!"_ the bastard ran to my right and jumped to the sofa (he takes the whole '_mi casa es su casa'_ too serious, even if it's not _his_ house you're talking about) and landed on his stomach, readjusting himself so he would be lying down as he was looking at me. "I didn't knew you liked it too, Lovi~!"

"O-Of course I don't, you idiot! I-It's just there isn't anything good passing on the TV, dammit!"

"Hmm..." he stared at me for a moment. "_Alright._ Let's watch it, then~!"

I can still switch the channel... to watch a different kind of crap...?

Why bother?

"Whatever..." I laid the remote control on the floor, next to me, and leaned my back more into the bean bag, my eyes on the television. By my peripheral vision, I noticed Spain watching me for a few seconds before turning to the colourful monitor. He was still lying down on the sofa, and he laid his head on his left arm, that he had left pending next to me.

"Vee~! So pretty~!" Feliciano commented as a young couple, standing in the middle of a cornfield, appeared on the screen. The man was dressed in some fancy clothes and the girl looked like she hadn't changed hers in weeks. He was comforting her in some sort of hug, sweeping her tears away with kisses.

Dammit! I seriously hope this is ending. I can't stand such romantic fluff!

**x**

FINALLY. After half an hour of torture. It ended, at last. I stared at the screen for a moment, before grabbing the remote to turn the television off.

…

… Though, I wonder if they'll ever find her long lost twin sister- Wait. What the hell am I thinking? This is a _telenovela_! _Ciao!_ Happy ending required!

Unlike reality...

Again, wait a second. Why do I care anyway?

"Hey, you bastards! It's late!" No signs of life were shown. "Feliciano, go to bed! Bastard, go home!" Again, no answer. Lazily, I moved my back away from the bean bag, in order to take a better look at them both. I could see Feliciano's legs spread on the floor. He must have fallen asleep. When it comes to Spain... that one was clearly asleep.

I spread myself down on the bean bag, once more.

I won't wake them up... J-Just because I'm to lazy to freaking move, anyway. I guess... I should try to get some sleep as well.

With that, I turned myself to my right, just to notice Spain's hand, still pending were it was when we started watching the _telenovela_. I bet it will feel painfully numb when he wakes up. Tsk. He's such an idiot. And his damn hand is right in front of my face now.

I guess I'll just have to ignore it...

…

...

… No can do.

Well, then, I'll put it away so it won't bother me.

With that, I hold his hand to move it... It feels soft like it felt before but... i-it's weird not having him responding to that...

… What am I thinking? I'll just-

His hand tugged mine slightly. "_Esh.. ng... ampho... matesh... Lov..._"

"D-Dammit!" the bastard scared the crap out of me! I'll just stay very still and quiet for a few seconds...

….

At least, he still seems to be asleep...

… I'm still holding his hand... and for some reason I don't feel enough will to let go of it, dammit... I-It feels so warm and soft... though, I never noticed he had callus, before... At least they aren't the disgusting type... I can barely feel them anyway...

"_Tomn... teh..._"

Observing him like this is quite fascinating- I-I mean, it's quite weird. Not seeing him smiling like a dork and waving himself in peoples' faces. I mean, whenever he enters a room, I notice him right away. And, if he's already there, he's the first person I see. Talk about being a flashy bastard.

...

… Well... sometimes... rarely... almost never... he is able to... amuse me. BUT ONLY SOMETIMES. REALLY- I-I MEAN, ALMOST NEVER! A-And not when he wants to, so he's still _a fail_ and a bastard! The number one bastard!

… And, still... he's always trying to be nice to me, it seems... He's like... a dog that is treated like crap by his owner and still comes back every time upon being ditched on the middle of the street.

Then again, dogs are just loyal and dependent once they got someone. And Spain... I don't even know, the bastard is weird to the bone. And he does a damn god job showing it.

Like that time he was all happy announcing gay marriage had been legalized in his land and when Austria asked who he had in mind he stared at me. I don't even believe I actually thought about it, I don't even remember processing his words... but I told him my conditions... Then, he was all depressed and went to bastard France's house.

Later, I was told he thought I was saying "no". *

Idiot.

Of course, afterwards, I just pretended that situation never happened, and so, neither of us mentioned it again.

I mean, he wouldn't actually want to do it. He was just being... himself. He wouldn't want to... no. Even if he wanted to... I-I would... I-I would never... I-I... would I?

…

CRAZY THOUGHTS I'M HAVING, DAMMIT!

… I-I should just catch some sleep... _Sì_, I'm very tired and my brain is being affected by this guy _bastard-ness..._ Yes! The idiot! How dares he! Always making me think in stupid things and in his stupid self and in making things with his stupid self! DAMMIT!

…

OKAY. ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP. I'M GOIN TO FREAKING SLEEP NOW.

**x**

The last thing I remember before falling asleep, was having my half closed eyes watching his hair resting in random curls on the sofa's arm. My improvised bed felt almost as cosy as the warm sensation I could feel on my right hand. I could sense my eyes losing all their strength to stay open and my thoughts starting to cloud. But the only thing I could think of, besides the warmth that spread through me, was that Antonio is the only one that can actually make me this close to comfort...

Such a feeling he gives me...

… How can I let go...

**x-x-x**

_Sì → Yes_

_telenovela → Spanish soap opera_

"_Oh! Yo amo esta telenovela~!"__ → "Oh! I love this telenovela/soap opera~!"_

_Ciao!__ → Hello!_

_'mi casa es su casa'__ → 'my house is your house' (common Spanish welcoming expression that goes __something like "feel at home in my house")_

**x-x-x**

_* Canon (Comic Diary 9)._

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_Tsun Tsun~! DERE DERE~! *pinches Romano's cheeks* *3*_

_Anyway: YOU GUYS AND YOUR REVIEWS~! *melts forever*_

_Fist, I'm just going to say that I was planning to update sooner, but, if you also usually write yourself, you know that, in certain days, there's no inspiration. I mean, I may have the guidelines settled, but, the words need to flow from the inspiration and the feeling I have the moment I'm writing... Okay, maybe you didn't get a thing of what I said, but, don't sweat it._

_And now, about my native language... you guys were close. ))_

_German: no. Italian: closer, but no (I would love to know more than a few expressions, though). French: oh, la langue de l'amour~. *3* Love it, and it's closer, but still no. The "Bonjour~." I had on my profile could be misleading, but... I just really love to speak in French (and France nii-san is my favourite character~ xD /shot)~. Spanish: that is so close. So close~._

_So, passing Germany, Italy, France and, then, Spain... which country do you come across with? … It's Portugal. /shot_

_Yeah, nowhere to be found in Hetalia, I know. Like, if it wasn't enough for us to be "Europe's Canada" already, we don't appear in the show. Ffff. Antonio needs his (one year) older brother and Arthur needs his BBF~. 'Not being random. It's History, my friends. xD_

_Enough ranting. Enjoy this chapter and see you next week or something~. ))_

_And, again, your reviews and stuff... *keeps melting*_

_**P.S.:** Sorry, just a little thought~. Today I found what that SpainxRomano is sometimes referred as SpeRo. OMG. It's so cute~. I mean, "spero", in Latin, means "hope"~. And, I believe, "I hope" in Italian~. 3333 *gets cavities* /shot_


	5. Misunderstandings of Speech

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 5

**Misunderstandings of Speech**

"_No puedo creer! No puedo creer! Tan lindo~! Ahh~!_"

"Vee~? Brother Spain? What's-"

"Shh, Ita-chan! He's sleeping~!"

"Hmm? Ah, sorry~!"

Silence.

"… Is he...?"

"_Sí~!_ It's so cute~!"

What's going on...? My head feels fuzzy...

"Nng..."

"Ahh~! He's waking up~! Maybe I should go to sleep, brother Spain~! _Addio~!_"

"Eh...?"

Slowly, I open my eyes... It's dark, but the moon casts its light through the window, allowing me to see a shadow, coming from my left. Something is hovering over me.

My eyes start to focus- "AHH! WHAT THE HELL, DAMMIT!"

"Eh, did I scare you, Lovi...?"

Stupid idiot Spain! Arrg!

"Of course you didn't, you bastard! I'm not scared by anything!"

He stares at me with a thoughtful look on he's face (_pff_, that's new) but doesn't answer. I allow myself to calm down... N-Not that I was scared to see him... I just... was taken by surprise...

A sudden movement of the bean bag tells me he's moving on top of it, but, as I turn to look at him, he's already corning me to it, his face way to close to mine. I feel my cheeks heating up in a heartbeat.

"_C-Che cosa stai facendo? B-Bastardo-_"

"Are you sure you aren't scared by anything~?"

"W-What?"

"I think you heard me, Lovi.~"

"I-I... W-Wha..."

Get off me! Get off me! Why can't I say it out loud, dammit?

"If you aren't scare of anything, Lovi..."

By my peripheral vision, I can see Spain's right hand moving to the side of my head. A few seconds later, I feel it playing with my hair. _Oh, Mio Dio._ P-Please, please, don't do what I think you're going to do. Please...

He reaches closer, still smiling widely. I can't help to close my eyes abruptly. "... then why are you holding my hand with such strength?"

...

Shit.

I open my eyes to look at him, just to notice that, even if his face is so close to mine, he's now looking absent-mindedly into the air. He then let's go of my hair and moves away to kneel on the floor, where he was when I woke up. He smiles, looking at our hands, squeezing mine softly as in some sort of reassuring gesture.

I slap my hand away from his. Dammit, I really was. "I-I wasn't, y-you bastard!" My voice sounded a lot weaker than I intended.

"Oh, no, you were~!" he keeps smiling. "You were already holding my hand when I woke up and you griped it harder when you woke up and noticed me." he opens his eyes and looks straight into mine. "So... I did scared you."

"You're so proud about it, why don't you discuss this in the next World Meeting!"

"Eh?" his smile faded slightly. "Are you admitting it?"

Okay, that sounded so odd. And his face isn't helping. B-But... i-it's not like I have something to admit to him...

"I'm not admitting anything, dammit! Just leave me alone!"

He slowly got up. I have to say I feel a bit ridiculous, being stuffed into the bean bag with my arms now crossed in front of my chest like some stubborn kid, but I won't show him that. His face reddened quite a bit, out of the sudden, as he kept his stare on me.

"Ita-chan told me I could sleep over~!" he said, smiling again.

"WHAT?"

"Ita-chan told me I coul-"

"I heard you, idiot!"

"But you asked-"

"I know what I asked- Just, forget it, okay?" I turn my head in direction to the staircase, even if I can't see it. "FELICIANO!"

"WHAT IS IT, BROTHER~!" He answered right away.

"YOU TOLD BASTARD SPAIN HE COULD STAY OVER?"

"_SÌ_!"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?"

"I DON'T WANT TO! IT'S MY HOUSE TOO, DAMMIT!"

"IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING, BROTHER SPAIN CAN GET HURT ON THE STREETS!"

"... L-LIKE I CARE, DAMMIT!"

"OH... IN THAT CASE, I'LL DRIVE BROTHER SPAIN HOME!"

"_TU SEI PAZZO!_ IT'S TWO IN THE FREAKING MORNING!"

"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?"

"IT'S DANGEROU- THE BASTARDS KNOWS HIS WAY HOME!"

"BUT I WANT TO TAKE BROTHER SPAIN HOME, THEN I CAN HEAD BACK AND GO STRAIGHT TO LUDWIG'S!"

_Furbo bastardo._

"JUST GO TO SLEEP ALREADY, FELICIANO! NO ONE LEAVES THIS HOUSE, DAMMIT!"

A second of silence in which my mind slowly tries to relax so my brain won't explode. If I close my eyes for a second-

"Ahh~! Can you show me to my room, then, Lovi~!"

Bastard. He isn't capable of giving me any rest. Ever.

" I don't feel like going upstairs yet... and you can find my room by yourself, dammit! It has my name on the door."

Silence again. Once more, it only lasted a few seconds.

"Y-You're room?"

"Sorry if our house isn't as fancy as yours, but we do not have a guest room!" I explain in a sarcastic tone before I finally look up at him.

… _Che cosa...?_

He looks... surprised? He isn't even smiling! And his eyes are so bright it seems that freaking sparks are going to come out of them...

I feel a shiver down my spine.

Why does he have to look at me like that...? What on earth is he-

… oh.

I feel my face flushing with the thought.

"Y-Y-YOU P-PERVERT!" He jumps at that, startled. "O-Obviously, I-I'm not going to stay there tonight, d-dammit!"

He just stared at me before realizing what I meant.

"_Aww... Vas dormir con tu hermano..._" I pretended I didn't understood him and he was quick to pick up his usually good mood again. "And couldn't you escort me?" he smiled widely making a flowery gesture with his hands.

W-Why did that sound so damn... indecent? S-Such a pervert he is!

At this point, I'm so flushed I could cook an egg in my face.

"Go to sleep. Now."

He stood there staring blankly at me for a moment, before walking away in direction of the staircase with a sigh. Since I was still stuffed in the bean bag, I lost track of him even before he got there, but I could hear his footsteps while he dragged himself to the first floor...

Feliciano should be asleep by now, since he haven't said a word since I told him to do so.

Sometimes I wonder... he can be so... I don't even-

A crash noise echoed through the walls before I could hear a loud thump of something hitting the floor.

**x-x-x**

"_No puedo creer! No puedo creer! Tan lindo~! Ahh~!_" → "I can't believe it! I can't believe it! So cute~! Ahh~!"

"_Sí~!" →_ "Yes~!"

"_Addio~!_" → "Goodbye~!"

"_C-Che cosa stai facendo? B-Bastardo-_" → "W-What are you doing? B-Bastard-"

_Oh, Mio Dio. →_ Oh, My God.

"_SÌ!" →_ "Yes!"

"_TU SEI PAZZO!" →_ "YOU ARE CRAZY!" [I'm not sure if the (Italian) verb is correct in here. Please correct me if it isn't. Thank you.]

_Furbo bastardo. →_ Sly bastard. [The word "furbo" can either have a positive or negative connotation. It can be translated as smart, sharp, sly, or something along those lines. It somehow depends on self interpretation about the sentence and/or situation where it's used.]

… _Che cosa...? →_ … What...?

"_Aww... Vas dormir con tu hermano..._" → "Aww... You're going to sleep with your brother..."

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_I'm sorry, I really didn't planned to take this long with this chapter... But, I'm being really lazy this last days because of the heat (I don't like to use this word, I talk about the weather but it looks like I'm talking about something else... xD /shot)._

_But, seriously guys, the weather here just makes me want to be underwater all the time. And I have to satisfy myself by opening all the windows and shake a fan in my face. It's really hard to write, draw, even make my head function properly being so hot in here. Seriously. They predict 37ºC today and my house acts like a freaking greenhouse to that. *melts*_

_But I never get tired to thank you guys for your the support~. Really, thank you so much for your reviews, they mean a lot to me~. S2 w;_

_And forgive me this lame chapter full of shouting between floors and other idiotic things alike. ''OTL_

_By the way, Feliciano did answered to fast for someone who was just hanging peacefully in his room, minding his own business. ;D_

_And, as you may have noticed already, stupid chapter titles are my speciality~._


	6. A Bit of Quiet Surrender

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 6

**A Bit of Quiet Surrender**

The familiar voice filled the air with muffled cries of pain and irregular panting.

Shit.

I immediately rose to my feet and started running to the staircase. Spanish words are stuttered into the air but I'm so focused in reaching the first floor as quickly as I can that my brain doesn't give a damn to understand them. I'm almost there-

Another cry of pain.

"Antonio!"

… First floor, at last...

"... Lovi..."

My eyes follow that voice, falling to the floor on the process... that voice that is no more than a whisper... The vision of him debating over the massive weights above him... i-it hurts. How- Why? ...

… And their just boxes. Just damn boxes. Some of them are broken, revealing a massive load of white flags. Dammit, Feliciano! They must have been in a pile next to my room... ready to fall on top of the first person that had the bad luck to run against them...

I run to him, throwing my knees to the floor as I try to move everything that's on top of him. I can feel his eyes on my face, but I won't look at him again. No, not until he's free of all this weight, dammit!

Just a few more boxes... Almost...

One more...

… I stare at the floor for a moment, catching my breath, before finally looking at him... his eyes meet mine right away. He's been staring at me the whole time. At least, he seems to be quite awake, so, I don't think he's going to faint or anything. And he has a silly little smile on his lips... But is he really alright...?

I'm such an idiot! Of course he's not alright! He just-

"Nng..." he tried to move his arms up in the air... towards me.

"Don't move, you idiot!" my voice sounds stupidly shaken and low. "I'll help you to the bed."

Okay, but how...? Hmm... I'll make a fool of myself if I try to hold him bridal style, not to mention I don't know if he's to heavy for me to handle, he always seemed stronger than me- I know! The best way is to just hold him as in... a hug... I mean, the room is right here, so I'll just have to drag him for a little while...

I was about to do so when I feel a pair of arms around my neck pulling me down. The realization of being against his chest came with a slight shiver of his part. I-Idiot. Holding on to people when you're in physical pain is not such a clever idea!

… Still, I'll just be quiet for a while... Just because he's hurt and I am to tired to fight about it... not to mention I would hurt him more for trying to stand and that would just be more of a pain in the ass for me! Dealing with a bastard in even more pain, I mean.

"_Gracias..._" I hear his muffled voice against my hair before his arms move to my back, holding on to me harder. He shivers again as he lets out another muffled cry of pain. He's making me feel a weird flutter in my chest... and I also kind of feel out of air by now... i-idiot, is he trying to kill me in his embrace? Or, should I say, death embrace! Dammit!

"You need to rest, bastard..."

… and I'm still not moving...

I have to admit... if we exclude the 'I'm about to die' part... being like this is... kind of comfortabl- Stupid, stupid, stupid! I'm just too light-headed right now, that's why it _seems_ to feel good. _Sì..._

"I'm fine, I'm just a bit sore." his voice does sound a little better now, but, obviously, he can't be completely well.

"That's still a reason for you to rest, you idiot..."

After a few seconds, he finally let go of me, and that gave me a chance to look at him. His face was flushed and his eyes wide open and shinning. "Lovino..." I... I feel kind of awkward... our faces are still very close after all...

"Sì...?" I dare.

"You look so much like _un tomatito_~! Ahh~, you're so cute!" He squealed while pulling me against his chest once more. "_Mi pequeño héroe~!_"

I don't know if I'm more upset about this sudden change in the air or the fact of being referred as something _little_.

"What the hell! Let go, bastard!" pressing my hands against his abdomen, I try to free myself from his grip. He lets out a slight painful moan. S-Shit... I-I forgot he was hurt... He lets go and I stare at him with my eyes wide open. Did I hurt him bad? Maybe I touched a broken rib! Ah, shit! I ALWAYS MESS UP EVERYTHING, DAMMIT!

"_No hay problema, todo está bien._" his smile is so reassuring... and his eyes tell me the same...

His hand touches my cheek softly and starts moving to my forehead, smoothing my hair away from my face.

I get up within a second at that. M-My insides are feeling like a mess already, why does he keep doing those kinds of things, dammit! B-Bastard...

...

… And now I have to kneel down again to hold him up. Ah, shit...

He does nothing besides looking at me with shiny eyes as I lower myself to pick him up. The surprised look on his face is the last thing I see before I embrace his back with my arms and pick him up into a sitting position.

I loose my grip a bit for a moment, and I depart just enough to get a look of his face. "Just... don't be an idiot and let me help you, okay?" I feel myself flushing just by saying these words. He just nods at me and tightens the embrace again by holding to my neck... W-Why do I feel so embarrassed about this... d-dammit...

I feel myself sighing as I do my best to lift him up to his feet. He muffles his cries of pain as he completely presses himself against me... t-to damn close... B-But complains wont due now, so I'll just have to do my best to reach the bed...

"I'm feeling better already, Lovi~..." I almost fall as I feel him singing against my skin.

"Don't breath in my ear, dammit!"

He quiets down, allowing me to arrive by the bed without any funny occurrences... Hmm... Wait a second... how on earth will I be able to lay him down?

"Eh... Bastard! We're here, you can let go of me and lay down now..."

"Hmm... If you really believe I can stand by myself why did you dragged me here~?" he singed into my ear again.

"I-I... I-I don-"

I feel him putting a lot of his weight around my neck and bluntly swinging us just enough for him to land with his back against the bed. The problem is that he's still holding on to me, making me fall along on top of him. To his luck, my instinct made me press my arms onto the mattress, on both sides of his head, so I wouldn't crush him.

"Haha~! Even your ears are going red by now, Lovi~!"

**x-x-x**

"_Gracias..._" → "Thank you..."

Sì... → Yes...

"(...) _un tomatito_~!" → "(...) a (little/small) tomato~!"

"_Mi pequeño héroe~!_" → "My little hero~!"

"_No hay problema, todo está bien._" → "There's no problem, everything's well."

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_Angst. Or what the hell that was at the beginning. I fail at it. ''OTL_

_And, by the way: LOVINO, STOP SWEARING! *waves arms around furiously*_

_Anyway, revealing something interesting (or not), the idea for this story appeared in my head right after I almost felt downstairs the night before I started typing this. No boxes felt on top of me and I didn't even hurt myself, though. xD And, of course, no hero appeared to rescue me, Spain's a lucky guy, haha~. ))_

_But there's more to this story that I developed after that (after all, that was just my inspiration for a particular moment), so, do not worry~. ^^;;_

_Big Warning: the story is currently happening in one night but it won't be just it, there will be at least one more day (because I don't know if I'll be able to do the whole four days deal I wanted to, when I first had this idea). So, yeah, that's pretty much it. Oh, and I can tell you more characters are making an appearance to brighten up the mood~. 8D_

_Thank you for the support and enjoy this 'written in an heart beat' chapter (a heart beat that lasted a whole morning and a bit of the afternoon, by the way)~. ^^_


	7. Goodnight

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 7

**Goodnight**

DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!

How did I end up like this? S-Stupid Spain! This is so embarrassing! T-The bastard!

I tried to move but his hands seemed to be completely locked around my neck.

"L-Let go, bastard!"

"Eh, Lovi~... I'm hurt, be compassionate..." his green shinning eyes stared straight into mine.

"T-The way you're holding on to me, no one would say you're hurt, b-bastard!" I... I can't even scream with him like this, dammit! Why does he keep doing such things to me-

In no more than one second, I found myself being pressed against his chest.

"_Tranquilo, Lovi..._" I can feel his hands smoothly brushing my hair. "_Por una vez en tu vida..._"

He's making me feel everything but quiet, dammit! But I know that if I try to stand, his hands will just lock again and I won't be able to do so. There's no way out now...

In any other day, things would end up going my way, which means he would give up after a while and I would just yell, kick (him or some innocent object laying around) and go way. When I was little it was the best since everything would end with a headbutt to his stomach. Nowadays, I'm... a bit afraid of doing that... not just because of my head... I-I have better things to do than drag the tomato bastard to the Hospital...

Sometimes he would complain about it, others he would shake his head and lose his smile for a while. But he would never force a hug like this. Well, I mean, he _has tried_ to hug me endless times before... but it was different... and I never complied...

However, lately, I've come to notice both of us changed somehow...

He's still his usual happy self, of course. And none of his characteristics and behaviours seem to have changed... except, sometimes, towards me, he... he has a different sparkle in his eyes... I can see it... I can feel it... and I can't tell what it is but it troubles me...

Me, I'm... confused. Very confused. I've always had... respect for Spain and what not but... something has changed for me too, when I look at him- Dammit, even when I think of him! And I've been thinking of him to much lately, it's becoming frustrating and I'm not even sure why!

And when I wake up and my brother tells me he's going to the potato bastard's house, that really gets on my nerves. And not just because of the obvious 'what is he doing to my brother?' reasons and the fact he is a potato bastard. There's something more that annoys me so, when my brother innocently adds "You should visit big brother Spain, too, brother~!"

It just... really, really annoys me!

Spain is _always_ happy! If I appear on his doorstep, he will _still_ be happy! If some random person appears on his doorstep, look, look, he's _still_ happy!

It's not like them, when I see that little perk in the potato bastard's eyes when he sees my brother. He becomes happy, it's noticeable, even if he doesn't smile. Not that Feliciano notices, but I do. And as an older brother, I don't want to leave him there, but I end up doing so every time... they both seem so happy about it...

Spain is happy _all the time_ and I'm just an idiot, a _rotten_, _rotten tomato_, that treats him like crap every chance I get.

And since I've became independent, things are still the same... even if he has a different sparkle in his eyes... even if I'm feeling too tired to fight back at him whenever he does something...

But he keeps acting like this and I feel so tired... _too_ tired... to fight back at his small gestures, his confusing actions...

I _want_ to fight back! I _want_ to!

If you don't fight back, you'll get hurt! You will! If you don't fight back...

I _have_ to fight back! I _have_ to!

…

… I just... don't know what I'm fighting any more...

"_Perché... Perché ti comporti in questo modo, bastardo!_" the hands brushing my hair stop briefly on the top of my head, his owner probably to taken aback hearing this voice that seems too low and too shaken to be my own. I can't cry now! I won't cry now! Not in front of him! Never in front of him!

"Lovino...?"

"Stop confusing me, dammit! Let me go!" I'm to tired, I feel as if my brain is going to crash at any moment, I just need to get to Feliciano's room and sleep as soon as possible. I just-

… I feel warm hands holding the sides of my face and, I don't know how, I suddenly am too close to his own...

My brain must have stopped giving me information for a while, because next thing I knew he had his lips upon mine, too soft and too warm for me to handle my own actions properly… My face too hot and my hands too shaky to allow myself anything else than to feel them with my own...

I was still trying to process what was happening when he pulled back to snuggle his face in my hair. I could feel his hands brushing my back ever so slightly as his breath reached my neck, after making some of my strands of my hair dance along the way.

… I would never thought... I couldn't ever know... Did he just...?

…

… I need some sleep... I need something... I just can't see his face right now!

The current events must have left him off guard because I was able to quickly get up from the bed. I held still for a second, trying to regain balance. By my peripheral vision, his face seemed to be considerably flushed... but, then again, I can't tell for sure without actually looking at it.

"_B-B-Buonanotte_!" I stammered breathlessly, just to flee out of the room as fast as I could, switching the light off on my way out.

**x**

When I reached Feliciano's room, I couldn't help to notice he was deeply asleep, completely spread all over the bed, his arms and legs stretched to its limits. I removed all my clothes except for my undergarments and diverted his sleeping body to the other side of the bed, as I tried to lay down.

My brain tried to regain his usual way of functioning, I could feel myself finally starting to think properly, or, I should say, as properly as I could at the moment, about everything that happened.

I should have been thinking about how much of a bastard he is for doing such things, the embarrassment that would take place the next morning or even in how much I would have to beat him up to feel the slightest relief about all this…

However, as I felt something flutter and troubling loudly in my chest, only a single thought was trapped within my mind...

…. I didn't fight back...

**x-x-x**

"_Tranquilo, Lovi..._" → "Quiet, Lovi..."

"_Por una vez en tu vida..._" → "For once in your life..."

"_Perché... Perché ti comporti in questo modo, bastardo!_" → "Why... Why do you behave like this, bastard!"

"_B-B-Buonanotte!_" → "G-G-Goodnight!"

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_And no one remembered that Antonio going to an Hospital could be a good idea! ''OTL_

_Anyway, I hope this chapter doesn't fail all that much I think it does. I just couldn't feel satisfied with it and kept rectifying it, however, I reached a point were any more adjustments will lead to absolute utter crap. *dies* I suck at writing kissing scenes, and since this was just something innocent, it felt even harder to write it down for some reason. I guess that's because there isn't all that more to describe or to even say about it? ''OTL Not to mention it's someone's POV, and during a kiss I don't see someone going all descriptive about what one is doing... xD_

_But, really, if you think you may have any useful tips in that matter, feel free to say so. ^^;;;;_

_'Hope you enjoyed the chapter, see you in the next one~. ))_


	8. A New Approach

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 8

**A New Approach**

I felt momentary blind by the bright morning sun the very moment I woke up. The house felt silent with the exception of a soothing humming noise coming from somewhere behind me.

Last night I had taken ages to fall asleep due to... the events of the said evening. What Spain did... where did that came from? I mean, why would he do that out of the sudden? Maybe it's not out of the sudden, but it sure feels like that to me! What interest I could have to him? What does he want? Probably it's something politic, right? But he seems to be going well right now, what could it be? … He isn't going to be my boss again, that I can grant. Not that I felt that many changes in my life style when I gained my independence but yeah...

... Honestly, I just feel like a piece of crap right now. It's better for me not to think about it.

I shifted a bit before realizing I felt to tired to even turn myself over.

"Hmm... brother? Are you awake?" Somehow, I felt myself relaxing over Feliciano's voice. It sounded familiar and I always knew it was totally free from giving me odd feelings and uncontrollable flutters in my chest.

"_Sì..._"

I felt him moving on the top of the mattress and a second later he was already spread on top of me, holding my arm... what was a bit uncomfortable since I was laying down on my right side.

"Then... _buongiorno, fratello_~!" he sang in my ear.

That... When Spain did that to me I felt completely different. Now... I can only feel uncomfortable from his weight on me and his facility to expose his feelings and such. And maybe, maybe, a little satisfied for him to be nice to me... I mean, he's my brother after all, dammit, it's nice that he respects me and such... he does, doesn't he?

Anyway, this is completely different from the way I feel about Spain. It's easy to compare since they are the two persons more close to me, if I can put it like that. Not to mention, they seem to have different purposes, either way around.

In a matter of fact, all of Feliciano's gestures and actions, even when they are the same as Spain's... they never make me feel that damn flutter in my chest and all the other odd stuff. I could say it's because I'm used to them, but doesn't make any freaking sense at all... Then again, even if Feliciano calls Spain "big brother" I never saw him as a brother... it just feels... not right. Feliciano is my only brother, that's why he gets away with this things... Spain, I don't know what the hell to do with him...

"Hmm... brother?" he hovered his face in front of mine, seeming a little concern.

"_Ah, sí, buongiorno._"

He stared for a moment before remarking. "Brother's face is red and the eyes look tiny and swollen... Have you been crying, brother?" now he was the one who looked on the edge to cry, fiercely holding at my arm like if it was the end of the world.

"No, I'm just tired, dammit..."

I don't think he bought it. He's making a more serious face... well, serious to him. I should do something by now, I don't want him pestering me.

"I would kick you but, as I said, I'm just to tired, dammit."

"Ah~, that's great~."

To be completely honest, sometimes I feel we are kind of a dysfunctional family.

**x**

"_Buenos días, Ita-chan~!_" I froze when I heard the dreaded voice coming from the kitchen. I felt my eyes tripling their size and the foot hovering over the last step of the staircase isn't showing signs of wanting to move forward at all.

I... completely forgot he could still be around the house.

What should I do? How should I act? What to say, what to say? DAMMIT! I have to be fast... hmm... well, he is probably waiting for me to yell and to headbutt him, right? And that sounds very much tempting... On the other hand, if I don't do it, he'll get confused and maybe even paranoid trying to figure out what I'm up to. _Mio Dio_, I'm a freaking genius!

I took a few seconds to calm myself down and to try the flutter in my chest to, well, "unflutter", before continuing my path towards the kitchen.

As I arrived, the first thing I noticed was the tomato bastard, with a blank expression on his face, looking down to the hazel coloured mug in his hands. He looked up the second I entered his eyes range.

"L-Lovi... I mean, _b-buenos días_, Lovi~..." he gave a nervous laugh while holding the back of his neck.

"_B-Buongiorno._" Dammit, I wasn't suppose to have stammered. Or blushed.

He just stood there, looking at me as I made my way to grab a mug to myself. For a second, I turned my back on him while I grabbed a bright green one from the closet. That was when I remembered what I wanted to talk about with Feliciano when I was coming down the stairs. I had completely forgotten about it the second I heard bastard Spain's voice.

"Hmm... Do you know were my brother is... hmm... bastard?" I asked, grabbing the coffee pot that was already in the middle of the table... did Spain prepare the breakfast or was it my brother?

"He said he was going to Germany's..."

What?

"He didn't told me that."

"Well, he knows you don't like Germany, right?" I didn't answer to that. "I think it's good for Ita-chan, they look very happy together~." he commented, finally smiling, white perfectly aligned teeth shining at the statement.

I feel my concentration on the subject suddenly forgotten.

Shit. _C'mon!_ What were we talking about?

… Oh, yeah, I remember...

"I heard you exchanging "_buenos días_" just now. Did you told him anything about last night?"

His cheeks suddenly adopted a red shade as he stared at me with wide eyes. He probably was surprised about the Spanish words...? "L-Last night? Y-You mean, you want to tell him? A-As in, y-you're okay with it, Lovi? Y-You... W-We can-"

"I'm talking about the accident with the stupid flags, dammit!" Shit. Shit. Shit. The last thing I wanted was to talk about _that_.

"Oh..." he swalled in dry. "I-I din't..." he said, moving to seat besides me on the table. I noticed he was concentrating most of his weight on his left left, causing him to go lame. I was so fixated in the accident occurred on the bed- Wait! That sounded terrible! I can feel my cheeks burning already. A-Anyway, I forgot he had hurt himself before... hmm... before _that_. Am I that shallow?

"Don't worry, Lovi~." he gave me a reassuring smile. "I'm just a bit bruised that's all~."

"I-I wasn't going to ask, dammit!" I replied right away. What is he thinking! … Okay, so, maybe, I was staring at him with an odd face... maybe... but that doesn't mean-

"I know you weren't going to ask." his smile softened, never losing it's strength. If he knows that, then why- "But I also know you wanted to do it."

…

I SO DIDN'T, DAMMIT! I DON'T CARE!

Shit! This 'no yelling, no headbutting' doesn't seem to be going my why at all! In fact, nothing seems to be going my why at all right now! And he doesn't give up of haunting me with his gaze. I can practically feeling it creeping in my flesh.

"They... hmm... Ita-chan and Germany... they... hmm... they look very happy together, don't they?" I kept staring at the mug on my hands but I could notice that he sounded nervous. "And they seem to have such different personalities, right? Hmm... I mean, when two people like each other that doesn't really matter, don't you think, Lovi~?" I looked up from my mug to have his eyes obfuscating mine. He didn't, however, allowed me to answer, turning his gaze back to his mug in the process. "Did you ever thought... you could be happy like that yourself... with someone, I mean? … Sometimes, people have those kinds of chances next to them for years without realizing it... Chances... people... tired of waiting... in need to know..."

…

W-What is he saying...?

_Mio Dio_... is he... No! Of course not! But if he is...? No, no! It can't be that! But- No! It can't be that! He would never-

My thoughts were punched aside when I felt the table rocking and I noticed him standing up (slightly inclined to his left), his face a bright shade of tomato red. … Now I know what he means when he goes all 'you look at a tomato'. It's quite possible, it seems.

"I-I should be going, haha~!" he almost shouted, completely breaking the feeling he was letting into the air moments before. "I still need to pass the pharmacy and all and I should be going! _Sí_, I should be going!" he paused for a second, with a odd look on his face. "I'm going!" he dragged his right leg towards the door. "It's fine! I'm fine! _¡Hasta luego, Lovi~!_"

As he opened the front door, a sobbing Feliciano came flying through, immediately bumping into him.

"_Vee~!_ Big brother Spain! Ludwig went to a meeting todaaaay!" he cried the last word out into Spain's troubled face before realizing I was in the room. He tried to adopt a merrier expression at that. "Eh, brother, brother, I'm not going to stay at Germany's today, after all! I'll make you pasta for lunch! Brother Spain will lunch with us today, right, right?" he proceeded to look at the said nation, still sobbing.

"Ah, sorry, Ita-chan! You see, I have some things to by myself, haha~." he gave him a nervous smile which made Feliciano letting go of his arm and run to hug me.

"Brother, I feel so _ditched_!" he cried on my chest.

"Eh, I'll be back, Ita-chan! After dinner, if you don't mind...?" even if he was talking to Feliciano, the green gaze was fixed upon me.

"That's great!" Feliciano's head suddenly popped out from my chest. Taking a look at his face, he seemed to have came back to his usual happy self. "We can all watch that soap opera again!" he sang. Spain closed his eyes and smiled, while nodding slightly in agreement.

"I hope they stay together~!" Feliciano sang to no one in particular.

I was about to remind him we was talking about a soap opera, and soap operas always (or, at least, hardly ever don't) have an happy ending... when Spain's voice cut through the air, making the flutter in my chest come back in full force seconds before he closed the door behind him.

"Me too."

**x-x-x**

"_Sì..."_ → "Yes..."

"_buongiorno, fratello_" → "good morning, brother"

"_Buenos días, Ita-chan~!_" → "Good morning, Ita-chan~!"

_'Mio Dio' →_ 'My God'

"_¡Hasta luego, Lovi~!" → _"See you later, Lovi~!"

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_What about you, Lovi? How do you want the story to end? *3* /shot_

_Anyway... In my head canon, when it comes to SpeRo, I believe Spain as a more 'mature side' that sometimes actually shows through. Still, he always stays with his characteristic bubbly and happy personality as a basis, no head canon can ever change that. I mean, it is him, if you know what I mean. S2 *melts*_

_So, enjoy this chapter-_

… _Wait._

_What? More than 30 reviews? When did that happened? TTwTT_

_When I started this I never thought this fic would be so well accepted! You guys are amazing! Seriously, thank you so much for the support, it really helps me in passing the story in my head into words~. And I hope that everyone is enjoying reading this, because I sure do love to write it~. S2 ;w;_

_*hugs the readers*_


	9. Not So Chilly Any More

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 9

**Not So Chilly Any More**

A day later, and I find myself sitting on on the sofa once more. As always, nothing good seems to be on the little black box and the only hope is directed towards the _telenovela_ we watched yesterday.

… What reminds me Spain should be arriving any moment now.

…

I... I don't know what the hell I should do any more! Does he...? I... DAMMIT! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING EVEN AFTER SPENDING THE WHOLE DAY THINKING ABOUT IT! … I mean, I had to give it some thought, right? He... what he did and said... that doesn't happen every day... and I keep thinking about his... his actions... his... him... his actions... his warmth... his smile... his... what he did... his... he...

… I... He... Kiss... He... He... kissed me... And then... he told me... he... he's been... waiting... and that... he... needs to know...

…

… What exactly does he want to know...? What can I tell him...?

… So... I know he makes me feel sick. N-Not sick in the bad way... I mean, not 'throwing up sick'... just flushed and nervous and anxious and feeling that weird flutter in my chest...

However... and I've been fixating about this for a while now... when... when he... when he kissed me... well... all those things, they... they didn't go away... but... for a moment, I just... completely forgot about them...

B-But I'm not entirely sure! I-I mean... it ended so fast I didn't exactly had time to tell! I-I mean, I'm not saying I wanted it to last longer! I... the thought of it makes my stomach all fuzzy along with all those other... symptoms... But... it wasn't bad... I mean, I don't know... It's just... I don't know, I have no idea of what to do, dammit! I WANT TO KNOW! I NEED TO KNOW! … And I feel that if we... if he... if he does that again... I might... I actually might get my answer...

… But... at the same time... the thought of actually knowing makes me... very scared... so very, _very_ scared, dammit!

...

The doorbell rang.

Shit. I'm not... I'm not ready to see him! What should I do? What should I say? Dammit! Not to mention I must look retarded like this- Wait! Why am I worrying about my looks? It doesn't make sense! Okay, okay, I know! If I run really quickly I'll be able to storm out of the room into the garden in a second! Well, more like two, because I need to open and close the door! Yes, it's perfect-

"Brother~! I'm so happy~, look who showed up~!"

_Chigi!_ That's not Spain!

"Goodnight." the potato bastard greeted with that always so damn serious face of his.

Now that I think of it, I really should have escaped into the garden when I could. But no, I just had to go all preparative about it and worry about stupidities... and now we're here, me and the bastard glaring at each other. Well, he's not really glaring, but I am.

"I need to finish cleaning the kitchen~. So I'll just leave you both here while brother Spain doesn't shows up!" Feliciano sang, letting go of the potato-head's arm.

"I can help you with that." he said.

"No way! I won't let you two alone in the kitchen, dammit!"

"Vee~? Brother, what's wrong with the kitchen?"

"It's not the kitchen, dammit! It's the potato bastard!"

He had to think about my words for a minute before reaching a conclusion. "Then you can both stay here, like I said~! Bond, bond, bond~!" and, with that, he was of.

With a sigh, the bastard sat next to me on the sofa. Well, not exactly 'next to me' since he was as far away from me as he could be... Anyway, now it's time for the awkward silence to kick in as I am too tired to even try to annoy him.

"Feliciano told me we would be watching a soap opera tonight."

Crap. He's actually trying to bond? What's next, his he going to ask me for my brother's hand in marriage? … Oh shit, I can actually see that happening! Better not even think about it, it may bring bad luck!

"For your information, it's a _telenovela_, not just some random soap opera, bastard." Am I being annoying enough?

"Alright." he stayed quiet for a minute before continuing. "What's the difference?"

"... Well... it's Spanish..."

"I see..."

"..."

"Are you just watching it because of Spain or do you really are interested?"

"W-What? W-What are you talking about, bastard? O-Of course I'm interested!" … crap, that still sounds like... "On the show, dammit!" I quickly ad.

"I see..."

_Mio Dio._ Since when the potato bastard is so bold? Dammit, this conversation is going like crap! Stupid Spain and his _telenovelas_!

"Dammit! No wonder you can put up with my brother! You're just as annoying as he is!" He stayed still to my remark. "You got nothing to say about that? How sad!" I commented. I won't let this guy embarrass me any further!

"Well, if I am annoying... I'm glad Feliciano can stand to be around me." his expression kept emotionless but I could see the smile in his eyes. "And... I don't mean to offend you, but you're quite troublesome as well."

Snap! I'm going to ignore his last comment... But, aside from that, how can the bastard be so... nice? Hell! It's really like Spain said, isn't it? They really like each other! And he must _really_ like my brother to put up with him!

...

… Wait... Does that mean...? … The reason why Spain always treats me so well when I just treat him like crap... He really does-

_C-Chigi!_ It's the doorbell again!

This time, I was quick to storm out of the room, leaving the confused potato-head behind as I almost torn the glass door apart in the act of closing it. I proceeded to jump into the grass and sit on it. The wooden porch is covering the view, so, anyone that looks from the inside of the house isn't able to see me.

Ah, sweet peace. It's quite chilly outside, though.

Wait. I can hear voices from the inside of the house. Did I closed the door properly? Well, it doesn't matter, no one is going to find me here- Unless the potato bastard reveals my hideout! Shit! I can't believe I have to rely on him!

… I can hear the door sliding open. _No, no, no!_

"But he was right here with you!" I could here Feliciano's voice coming from the living room.

"He's... He's fast! I... I didn't saw were he went! I... Fine... he's over there!" Shit! The guy can't lie or what?

"I had a feeling he would want to come outside, haha~!"

…

… That's Spain's voice. From somewhere really close to me. _No, no, no!_

I heard the wood crack really close to my head and suddenly a pair of legs emerged at my left. I don't have to look behind me to know he's just sitting there. Why the hell is he _just_ sitting there? Okay, maybe, _maybe_ he hasn't seen me!

… Forget it, he just slipped a hand on top of my head. Dammit!

A second later and he was right next to me, on the grass.

He seemed... fine. His eyes were sparkling and he had a big smile spread across his face.

"Hey, Lovi~!"

Several mental images run trough my mind. Neither of them matching his damn clueless and innocent-looking smile. I suddenly felt the evening breeze not cold enough to be addressed as 'chilly' any more as my body heat raised. I felt a free willed pant slip from my lips. Oh God, I feel terrible and this is so damn embarrassing! What's wrong with me?

"Hmm? Are you alright?" Spain slipped a hand to my forehead. I was able to notice he seemed quite flushed himself.

"I-I'm fine, dammit!"

"... Great~!"

For a second, I wondered if I should kick his hand away but I ended up just staring at him, my brain suddenly becoming a piece of useless mushy material. He just stared back... before both of his hands gone down to my sides...

… and then he went for a hug.

"W-What the hell, _b-bastardo_!" I tried to punch him away before realizing my hands weren't exactly cooperating in applying force to his chest. So, basically, I just stood there, awkwardly squished against him.

… And I'm not disappointed that he just wanted to hug! I am not! I-I'm... I'm not... at all... yeah...

"I missed you~." he whispered in my ear as I felt my face turning even redder, if possible.

"You saw me this morning, idiot!"

"It's long enough for me to miss you~."

He... H-He has got to stop this.

"And I'm all better now, Lovi~! Well, almost totally better but I'm practically recovered~!"

W-Why should I care...?

"Vee~! Hey, I'm going to get the _gelato_ from the freezer and then we can watch the show~!" above us, Feliciano, that had appeared out of nowhere, clapped his hands together, proud of himself. Then he proceeded to look down at us. "Vee! I'm so sorry! I didn't want to interrupt!" and he run of, sliding the door shut without looking back.

"Y-You're not interrupting nothing, dammit!" I denied into the air. I didn't had time to punch the bastard away from me, since he did that himself, leaving me confusedly looking into the air as he stood up.

He then offered me his hand with a gentle smile.

"Here, Lovi, I'll help you~!"

**x-x-x**

_'Mio Dio'_ → My God

_'bastardo'_ → bastard

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_For the first time I actually had to split a chapter in half in order for it not to be gigantic. ._.;;_

_Anyway, this chapter is quite dull (after that little love demonstration from Spain everything seems quite dull (*cof* until he *cof* decides to *cof* do that *cof* again *cof* ;w;)... I'm not happy with it at all but I have to ad some continuity to the story. So, I hope you stick around to see what happens next (when I say 'next' I don't mean the next chapter... But I do mean the chapter after that one... ;D)~._

_And, as always, thank you so much for the support, guys! It means a lot to me~. S2_

_I'll update the next chapter (which was a part of this one, originally) tomorrow – well, I don't know about your time zones but here it's past eleven o'clock in the evening so tomorrow isn't that far away -, I just need to read it again and ad up some details before doing so~. ^^;;_


	10. It's a Small Sofa

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 10

**It's a Small Sofa**

"I..."

… can get up by myself.

…

… Then why did I accepted his hand? … Ah, shit! I don't know what I'm doing any more!

Both on our feet, he stared at me, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open in surprise... Well, at least he isn't drooling or something... Wait, why do I care? I shouldn't even be looking that way, dammit!

"What?" I snap out of the sudden.

"I... N-Nothing..."

"Yeah, b-better be nothing, b-bastard!" I crossed my arms against my chest and stared to my side. He laughed.

"Lovi, you're blushing so much, haha~! You look just like a-" he stopped as he saw my scowl staring back at him. "Eh... In other words... that makes you look very pretty~..."

S-Shit! I could cook an egg on my face!

"Hey! Don't say such _faggy_ things!" here the brilliant words that managed to escape my mouth. _Cough._ Sarcasm. _Cough._

Honestly, I just don't trust myself any more.

He laughed once more. "But it's true, Lovi~!"

… He is about to do something, I can _just_ tell. As he leaned forward, eyes half closed, I felt myself too damn panicky to move away. _Mio Dio!_ This is it, dammit, this is it! And now? What do I do? _Chigigi!_

… And then the door slid open.

"The soap opera is about to start- Oh! I apologize for interrupting."

"D-Dammit! Y-You're not interrupting anything, you potato bastard!" I yelled, almost falling backwards, before fleeing away from Spain and storming into the house as fast as I could, a disorientated bastard moving aside for me to enter. "Damn you!" I heard myself saying as I passed by him.

Feliciano was already on the sofa, a silver tray with four shiny pink plastic bowls on his lap, each of them filled with a fair amount of ice cream... Why do we have shiny pink plastic bowls again? Anyway, I sat beside him and took one for myself.

"Vee~! Brother, I didn't knew Spain and you were-"

"S-S-Shush!" that caught me off guard! I look at him with wide eyes.

"Vee?"

"Whatever you're going to say, it's not it." I deny.

"But-"

"It's not! Now eat your ice cream, dammit!"

"... okay..."

Next thing I knew, the bastards had both returned to the living room.

"_Gracias_, Ita-chan~!" Spain thanked as my brother gave him one of the bowls. The other bastard did the same and proceeded to the kitchen to arrange the tray. Spain sat on my right side with a huge grin on his face.

"O-Oi! Don't you think the couch is a little small for the three of us, bastard?" I turn towards him making a face.

"Ah~, no problem brother~! You two stay here~!" Feliciano answer instead and jumped to the bean bag I had occupied yesterday night... the memory of Spain corning me into it suddenly made me very uncomfortable... the stupid tease- I mean, idiot! … What am I thinking? I shook my head from side to side trying to think of something else.

"Hmm... Lovi, are you alright?" the voice of the dreaded person interrupted my head shaking. I looked directly at him with a scowl, making him gulp in dry.

"_B-Bastardo._"

For a second, he just stared back, but them he let out a soft laugh and smiled... a quiet smile without teeth showing... just his eyes closed with ease, slightly pink tinted cheeks and lips perfectly curled up in a very truthful and happy and cute- I mean, in a truthful and happy way, yeah...

As he opens his eyes to see me staring (flushed and mouth slightly open, I now notice... when did that happened?)... he smirks at me. HE FREAKING SMIRKS AT ME! And there you go, a involuntary shiver down my spine. His eyes are still smiling happily, thought... okay, that's not the point...

It's just... I insult him and he goes all happy about it... He's killing me to no end! God! I want to shut him up! Even if he's not even talking! I just don't know _how_! I could just heatbutt him in the stomach! Or smack that smile of his face! Or grab his _gelato_ and shove it down his throat! Or slam myself into him and snog his face off! Or- OH MY DEAR GOD! I MUST NOT THINK LIKE THAT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? DAMMIT! IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!

… Okay, okay! Happy thoughts! THINK FREAKING HAPPY THOUGHTS, DAMMIT!

…

… As I shut my eyes, all I can see it's the tomato bastard's face! WHERE THE HELL ARE MY HAPPY THOUGHTS, DAMMIT?

At that moment, the potato bastard arrived from the kitchen, one of the ridiculous pink bowls on his hands. And I can honestly say I've never been so happy to see him. And so, I turned away from Spain's smirk, which was still leaving me quite bothered about my mental health.

He just stood there, probably wondering where the hell to seat, when my eyes drooped to the ridiculous bowl again... The image is just to damn _hilarious_! Seriously, where the hell did we got that?

"_Oh Mio Dio!_" I suddenly snapped, making everyone turn to look at me. "That's so uncool!" I started laughing at will.

"What is?" the potato-head asked, somewhat surprised.

"That bowl is so ridiculous! Oh My God! You look so ridiculous!" I kept on laughing, accidentally bumping my back against Spain's chest in the process. And I didn't even minded... until the potato bastard burst my bubble...

"You are aware you're holding a identical bowl yourself, right?"

…

… Crap!

I stopped laughing and stared down at the _indeed_ identical bowl in my hands, feeling defeated.

"You're so funny, Lovi~!" Spain suddenly _decided to inform_ as I felt him hugging my back. "So cuuuute~!" still holding tightly onto me, he tried to pull me into his lap.

"W-What are you doing, dammit? S-Stop tha-AT!" I almost screamed the last word out of surprise _and_ embarrassment... I mean, there just are certain things I don't wish to feel against me right now... yeah, you're... you're guessing right... even if Spain _seems_ to be acting innocently about this...

"But I don't want to~!" the bastard cried against my neck.

"Vee~! Ludwig~! Come to sit with meeee!" Feliciano suddenly said, grabbing my attention and making the other one blush as he noticed that my brother was stuck in the bean bag.

_No, no, no!_

"No way! That's no place for two people to fit in, dammit!" I snapped - as a very flushed potato-head actually gave a step forward-, ignoring Spain who was still trying to make me sit quietly in his lap.

"I disagree~. And I think we should move to the other one as well, Lovi~!" Spain sang in my ear. I tried to punch him away - with no grand success-, feeling myself flush (even more than I already was by now) at his comment.

"Everyone on this sofa! NOW, dammit!"

Said and done.

My brother immediately jumped to my side. The potato-head soon fallowed him with a sigh, sitting himself on Feliciano's other side, making us all _scootch_ to our right. And so, I ended up sandwiched between the two most happy idiots in the room, even if one of them was to busy bothering the bastard on the far left of the sofa and the other one had actually managed to sit me in his lap in the middle of the confusion.

… If I move away, we are _all_ going to end up practically slammed against each others. But if I stay like this, the other two will still remain at a more _decent_ distance. Maybe I should stay quiet... Spain isn't trying anything funny anyway...

The _telenovela_'s logo filled up the television's screen as I felt Spain's voice against the back of my neck, unnecessary informing all of us. "It's starting~."

I didn't even tried to yell or anything... since we are pressed against each other, there is no way we can stop such... proximities... even if we want to...

…

Now his hand in my leg has other connotations.

"Dammit, bastard! Don't even think about getting advantage of me! I'm just allowing us to stay like this for Feliciano's sake!" I informed everyone and took the opportunity of us being in this position to throw myself at him, my back making a loud thump against his chest. He let out a gasp at the impact and complained of me being mean to him. I felt myself smiling slightly at that... until I remember he could still be hurt there, despise is earlier proclaim of being 'practically recovered'...

As he comfortably adjusted himself onto his seat, still hugging me despise what I did, I realized he didn't actually got hurt by my sudden action... He then let out a cheerful yet quiet "ah~".

… I have to admit... it's not uncomfortable to be laying down against him, now that we are both quiet... So what if I'm allowing myself to stay like this? It's quite comfortable- I mean, it's for my brother's sake! … Yeah...

...

… For a second, I could _swear_ I saw the potato-head throwing a _knowing smirk_ at us, but he was turning his head when I proceeded to look directly at him... Okay, okay, my head just isn't thinking straight any more! No way that guy smirked! And no way that guy knows anything! … I-I mean, there isn't anything to know!

It's better for me just to stay quiet and watch the damn _telenovela_.

**x-x-x**

_'Mio Dio'_ → My God

_'bastardo' → bastard_

_'gelato' → ice cream_

_'Gracias' → Thanks_

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_Maybe those are your happy thoughts, dammit!_

… _I mean... what? I didn't said anything... ._.;;;;_

_..._

_Eh... well... as promised, here it is~. ^^_

_The chapter's name is idiotic (not to mention, I think Lovi is trying to convince himself of how short the sofa supposedly is when no one else seems to have said anything about that) and- WOW! It's Chapter 10 and I'm not done yet! The story really seemed smaller in my head! xD_

_Anyway, enjoy the craziness~. ))))_


	11. Rephrasing and Confessing

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 11

**Rephrasing and Confessing**

The ending theme brought me back to reality.

Damn, I feel tired! I could just sleep here... which doesn't seems to be a good idea...

Even thought I was uneasy for being sitting on Spain's lap at first, it seems I ended up relaxing and forgetting about it. His arms are still firmly around my torso- ... but when did I let my hands slip on top of his...? D-Dammit! O-Okay, I'll just quietly remove them and no one needs to know...

… There.

"Hmm~." I felt Spain nuzzling his face in my hair.

… Please, tell me he's asleep...

"_¿Estás despierto, Lovi?_" he whispered against my neck.

… Forget it...

"_Sì..._" I whispered back.

"Hmm~."

What should I do?

"... Y-You didn't felt asleep this time, hmm...?" I'm such an idiot. I mean, why the hell I'm making small talk?

"Haha~! If you want to hold my hand, you can do it with me awake, you know~?"

"W-What? S-Shut up, dammit!"

He laughed, saying nothing back.

I looked over to my left to see my brother curled up in the other bastard's chest, both of them asleep. … I had forgotten they were there, actually... And I'm not very pleased by the proximity of them both but, I mean, they are just sleeping...

"Should we wake them up, Lovi?" Spain caught me looking at them.

"Hmm... I guess there's no point in it... and we don't have enough rooms, anyway..."

"Two rooms seem enough..." he hold onto me tighter.

"O-Oi! W-What the hell are you implying, you pervert!"

"Hmm...? I was going to say you could stay with your brother again and me and Germany should decide among ourselves who would stay in the other room and who would stay in this sofa~... If anyone had any pervert thoughts, that was you, Lovi~." he sang oddly quietly but when I turned myself to see his face the _fake_ innocence was spread all over it.

"S-Shut it, dammit!" I was now turned to the side, so I only had to look straight forward to escape his green gaze... but since I had the two sleeping morons right in front of me, it wasn't of much help for me to relax. Not to mention I could still see Spain's smile by my peripheral vision.

He chuckled against my ear after a moment. "Well, either way, we should go to sleep~."

Yeah, right! The last time I told you that you ended up with a big pile of white flags filled boxes on top of you- which are still laying around on the floor upstairs! And I completely forgot to mention what happened to my brother! Well, that'll have to wait again since he's asleep right now...

… He looks really happy and peaceful... Feliciano, I mean... and the other bastard too...

... Spain asked if I ever thought about being happy like that myself...

… When he talked about chances... when he talked about people waiting, people that need to know... he was talking about himself, right? Who else could he be talking about, I mean? Has he really... been waiting for me... does he really need to know... what, what does he need to know...?

"Lovino?" his voice was just a soft whisper and I'm not even sure if he was talking to himself or actually calling me... but I turned towards him either way...

… God! His eyes! That piercing green never seemed so bright, so bold, so... sure.

In an heartbeat (literally), he had pressed me against him, arms still firmly pressed around my torso in a determined embrace. It surprised me, quite frankly... since I was expecting something else..., and, after a while, I thought he would notice if I suddenly hugged back so I didn't do it... but I didn't fought back either...

"I know you told me not to take advantage of this, but..." I could feel his heart beat faster. "... if you let me... it's... it's not taking advantage, right...?"

"W-What you're talking about, d-dammit?" I asked, even though I have an idea of what he may mean by that.

Just as I started to adjust myself to his body heat, he pulled us apart so he could see my face. His own seemed serious, which for him it means _too damn_ serious. It's starting to bother me... I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's not often than someone gets to see him like this.

"Lovino." he positioned his hands on the sides of my face. "I-If you don't want me to, I won't do it. E-Even as much as I want to, I won't if you really don't want me to. A-And I really want, it's just-"

"You didn't seemed so concerned about my permission yesterday, bastard!"

… Okay, so maybe I should have kept quiet, but I really wanted him to shut his yap for a moment.

Seeing him like this makes me notice I want him to be... him. Spain doesn't ask for my permission. He just... does what he feels he should do. _Sometimes_, who am I kidding, _most of the times_ it isn't appropriate but... it's him, dammit! If there's going to be someone, I want it to be Spain. There. You have it. It's that isn't it? Spain. Just Spain and all his 'bastardness', d-dammit!

"L-Lovi?" he's looking at me with an odd look on his face. "I'm sorry if I-"

"Besides, you should know there's no point in asking my permission. I mean, you never did, being the bastard you are! Why do you ask now?" he saw it as a rhetorical question. "You do what you feel is right. I do what I want. If there's a conflict of interests, you already know you ain't getting the best of me. Period."

He gave me a thoughtful expression. I bet he didn't understood a thing of what I just said.

"So... you're saying I can do what I feel like doing for as long as you want~."

"W-Wait! You're rephrasing it wrong, dammit! I'm saying you should do what you feel like doing and I do what I want."

"What if what I feel is what you want?"

"..."

You're still rephrasing it wrong, bastard! Actually, you're ignoring words and everything!

"What I feel..." he took hold of my right hand and pressed it against his throbbing chest. "...do you want it?"

"..."

"This feeling can only be yours. Will you accept it, Lovino?"

...

_Chigigi!_ Do I even know the answer to that? I opened my mouth to say something, _anything_, but a weird pant came out instead. Dammit, Spain!

Oh God! Even if it's him, it's not like I'm going to jump into it like an idiot! He goes all head over heels on things! I'm not like that! Well, I'm not usually like that! I'm being as acceptive about this has I can be, he has to slow down! I don't want to get hurt! Because that's what always happens! Then again, I'm not a child any more, as well as he isn't my boss. There's no real political, economical or _the hell_ connotation in his actions, right? I mean, now that I give it some thought, that 'kind of hurt' doesn't make sense! We are both adults and... this is life! But there's still a way of ending up hurt... I need to keep cool about this for my own sake...

"If you're not sure... I can help you..."

You usually only confuse me more... you should know that by now!

"Lovino..."

I thought he was going to keep on talking... but he moved closer instead, closing the space left between us, hands waving through my hair in their own accord. A hope-filled green gaze was the last thing I saw.

So much for keeping cool.

Tentatively, he brushed my lips with his, giving me an odd tinkling sensation in the stomach... and when he actually pressed them together, I couldn't remember what was bothering me just moments ago. He seemed desperate to bringing me closer, although we were practically glued together.

I... D-Dammit! Why does it feel wrong when I think about beforehand, if now it just feels... right?

I could feel his smile when I tried to move us closer myself. He answered to that by dropping his hands to my waist to hold myself against him. I couldn't move away if I wanted to... and doing it didn't even passed my mind... until I felt a small tug on my bottom lip... that... hmm... I mean, I'm not so sure about that! It just seems to fast! So I kept my mouth firmly shut, even thought I didn't moved away... but he ended up doing so himself...

… D-Dammit!

Even my vision made it seemed as I had just dozed off. I don't remember having closed my eyes... much less I recall of being tugging to his shirt so fiercely.

"I'm..." his voice came out a bit faded; he cleared his throat before continuing. "I'm sorry, Lovi, I was so happy you started kissing me back, I guess I thought you wanted more~." he gave a nervous laugh at my still 'I just woke up face'.

My brain was screaming '_What the hell, dammit! I didn't started kissing you back!_', but having the evidences so clear before me, I decided I shouldn't lie about. But, of course, I wouldn't admit it either. He seemed to notice.

"Don't worry, Lovi~. I'm very happy!"that bit of information was clearly unnecessary since his smile was clear as water. "And for the time I've been waiting just to be with you like this, I don't mind waiting a little longer until you're ready for more than just little pecks~."

And that was when my brain died.

… No, seriously.

First of all, how long has he been waiting exactly? Because he makes it sound as if for a long, long time, already... which can actually be truth since the memory of he becoming just ever so slightly different towards me is quite smudge by now. I guess... it was about the time he realized I was no longer his 'little henchman' any more...? Is he a masochist or what?

Second of all, 'READY FOR MORE THAN JUST LITTLE PECKS'? I feel like killing him! He makes it sound as... I don't even know! _Chigigi!_ I WASN'T EVEN AWARE I WAS READY FOR 'LITTLE PECKS' OR ANY KIND OF PROXIMITIES FOR THAT MATTER, DAMMIT!

He pulled me for another hug and I just let myself being dragged into it. I feel like a piece of useless mush. As my brain must be, by the way. He pressed his chest against mine this time, supporting his head in my shoulder. Seeing no other option, I did the same. He just hold onto me, hands drifting to my back. I mimicked his action, trying to look as casual as I could.

...

… I just had this crazy thought! I... I think I actually like him, possibly, probably and... hmm... r-romantically speaking...

… God! How embarrassing, dammit! But that's it, right? The flutter in my chest and all the weird stuff... And I don't feel so bad about admitting it as I might have thought. I mean, as long as I only admit it to myself! _No freaking way_ this is going to spread around!

So, that's it, right? I kind of like him possibly- _I've got to stop this!_ I must take a deep breath! There! … _I like him in a romantic way._

… I sound so ridiculous! But how else should I put it?

Anyway, Spain probably likes me back... romantically. I mean, if he doesn't, I don't get it, so I'll assume he does... Which means we are on the same boat. Now what?

I guess it must be okay to hug and... kiss... sometimes, then. When nobody's watching, of course! Which reminds me- OH MY FREAKING GODNESS! WE HAVE TWO MORONS SLEEPYNG RIGHT BESIDE US, DAMMIT!

… Then I guess I'll just allow myself to stay quiet and don't freak out about it for once.

Spain and I continued like that for several minutes before I started to feel a huge increase in his heart beatings rate. When it actually started to scare me, he moved his head just so slightly, making our cheeks brush onto one another before leaning closer to my ear...

"_Te amo._"

…

…

_C-C-CHE C-COSA?_

"Lovino?" he probably notice I completely froze... and started shaking...

I-I definitively wasn't ready for him to say _that, dammit_! I-I mean, what should I do? Really, what does he want me to do? Does he expect me to say it back? Does he have any idea of how much pride I've swallowed tonight only?

Quickly, I disentangled myself from him and sloppily manage to get up from his lap. When I reached to the floor, I almost tripped over the air... what's with the dizziness? He hold my hand when he saw me oddly balancing on my feet and I did my best to get his panicky expression out of my thoughts.

Again, what should I tell him?_ 'I just __understood__ I have feelings for you as well and you already __confess__ me you love me! '?_

… Wait. T-That's actually what happened. B-But I can't just tell him that, dammit!

"'L-Long day. 'N-Need to sleep." alright, I don't think talking like a caveman will make him less panicked about this, since I still have my own terrified expression haunting my face, but, at least, he let go of my hand, even if reluctantly.

And he was considerate enough not to follow me upstairs.

**x-x-x**

"_¿Estás despierto, Lovi?_" → "Are you awake, Lovi?"

"_Sì..._" → "Yes..."

"_Te amo._" → "I love you."

_'C-C-CHE C-COSA?'_ → 'W-W-WHAT?'

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_I just had to post this before going to bed so (even after spending ages editing this) I'm sorry if I made any silly mistakes. ._.;;;;_

_The moral of this chapter is 'Never fall asleep on the sofa with people next to you. God knows what they will be doing!' *stares at Feli and Ludwig* /shot_

_*curls into a ball and burst into flames*_

_I'm so sorry for this chapters' lame ending, guys, but I have an idea for the end of the story since the beginning, and I just have to end this chapter like that in order to pursue it. And I can assure you I'll do my best for it to be as good as I possible can make it._

_There will be about three more chapters by the way. But when I'm done I already have an idea for a SpeRo one-shot. Ffff! I just can't let go of these two~. S2_

_'In other news', the POV is killing me. Sometimes I forget about it and start narrating like a creepy bystander. xD And then I have to go back and edit it... ''OTL Also, kissing scenes. I'm not satisfied. I mean, how can someone actually describe them (even if this was just a... how should I put it... regular-no-more-than-lips-kiss)? Ffff!_

… _Sorry, guys! Love you all~. S2 TTwTT_

_**P.S.:** I thought I should share that all the '…' you are accustomed to see in my writing is my way of expressing how Lovino got momentary speechless or, let us say, 'brain-dead' (I don't usually use '…' all that much in a third person narrative mode). So, sorry if it gets annoying. ^^;;;;_


	12. An Unexpected Help

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 12

**An Unexpected Help**

_Arrg!_ Damn sun!

I rolled over and covered my face with the sheet as a reflex.

… Yeah, of course the thin material won't bloke the light away. I'll just have to open my eyes and face reality as a man-

"_Chigigi!_"

… W-What? I-It's a very _manly_ sound!

Anyway, it's just I don't like to awake up with a smiling moron's face just a few inches of mine... well, I guess it depends on the smiling moron- I mean, it doesn't matter right now because it's Feliciano who is in front of me. Probably kneeling on the floor, since I'm on the edge of the bed. It's the second day my brother is awaken before me! Something isn't normal... I hope it's him.

"Vee~! Brother~! You're awake!"

"... yeah... you too..." I managed to state.

"Ludwig didn't want to sleep here... he told me he didn't want to be a bother..." he pouted. "Then I decided to sleep at his house but we were in the middle of the night so I convinced him to stay here until the sunrise... which already did some time ago... but I wanted to warn you before going~."

I took a minute to process everything he said and further decided there was no use complaining about it. To be honest, there's just one thing bothering me. "... When did you woke up...?"

"Hmm... I'm not sure about the hour... but brother Spain told us you had just gone to bed..."

That was close.

"And where is he?" I tried to look as casual as I could.

Feliciano smiled sweetly at the question. "Oh! He left just now, he said he was going to see big brother France for advice~."

**x**

As I dressed in full speed, Feliciano kept on talking about what happened while I was asleep. Something about pasta and painting to stay awake, but, most importantly, it seems Spain and the potato bastard had been chatting for quite a while. He also said Spain looked oddly distressed since they had woken up.

And that was when I started walking, okay, running downstairs while still trying to buck my belt. I managed to do so before reaching the living room, still, I ended up running onto a wall... that turned out not to be a wall after all...

"Dammit, you potato bastard!"

"You should call France." he said in a single breath.

"What?" I looked up at him to see a very awkward look on his face.

"I'm sorry. Good morning." his words were rushed. "Now, you should call France."

"Why would I want to call that wine bastard, dammit?"

"I trust Feliciano already told you Spain went to see him." I reluctantly nodded, pretending not to be interested the least in his words. "He called him before going, telling what was concerning him... but he said he was still going to stop there on his way home..."

The image of Spain reporting the recent events to both the potato-head and the wine bastard made me feel very annoyed... and embarrassed. I can even feel my face going red from both feelings. "How the hell do you know that? And what exactly do you know, dammit?"

"... He... He talked to me first. And he didn't told me much, he's just concerned he scared you... hmm... for some reason... I think..." he looked very uncomfortable. "But I'm no good with advices. Please, call France."

"Dammit! Why would I-"

"Please, calm down." I kept quiet but still managed to cast him a annoyed look. "I trust you want to know what to do about Spain. I believe he knows you well but I think he got the wrong idea behind your... hmm... demonstrations of Alexithymia." *****

I wanted to shout _'What the hell is that? I don't have that, you bastard!'_ but that way I would be in disadvantage, so I just scowled at him until he decided to awkwardly leave the room... well, I suppose he didn't want to look awkward, but he did, as always.

Anyway, Spain is an idiot. Going to that perverted molester he calls a friend- Not that I care about that, it's just... okay, I do care about that, dammit...

…

The potato-head has a point... if Spain actually did reveal his problem to the wine freak, it would be good to know as well! Even if I have to talk to that pervert! But I guess I'm safe on this side of the phone... I mean, it's worth a shot, right? Once I realize what's wrong with Spain, I'll be able to smack some sense into that idiot's head!

And so, I reached the phone table and withdrawn the notebook were we keep other peoples' phone numbers. After finding the wine bastard's, I started dialling it with apprehension.

I can't believe I'm doing this, but the more I think about it, the more I want to know what the hell happened with that idiot! Did I scared him or something? Shit. I hope I haven't- I mean, if I did no way he's going to chicken out now! Not after all that! Even if I have to be the one to-

"_Bonjour~!_" the voice I awaited interrupted the waiting signal.

… And now I want to die. What the hell should I say? Dammit!

"Hello?" a brief pause. "Who's this?"

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

"Is it you again, Antonio? Ah, my friend... sorry if I rushed you earlier... I was... busy... But I've told you can come here if you want to, already! But I have lunch plans, I'm can't stay the whole day listening to your love issues! You should just do as big brother here and-"

"It's not Anton- Spain, dammit!"

There were a few seconds of silence in which the person on the other side didn't even shown signs of being alive... Not until...

"Ah~! Romano! I can't believe my own ears! What can I do for you, _mon cher_? Do you want to talk to Antonio? He's hasn't arrived yet..."

"Err... I... hmm..."

"_Oui?_"

"What's his problem, dammit?"

At first, I was left to _hear_ the silence once again. Then, he chuckled and then did a 'hmm' noise for a moment, as if he was thinking, before finally answering. "To keep the story short, I could just say his problem is you."

… dammit...

"Which isn't necessary a bad thing~. And, _étant le pays de l'amour_, I shall drop a few hints on you~." I decided not to interrupt and he left the suspense linger for a moment before continuing. "Antonio loves you. You love Antonio. Just make it official already."

…

'A FEW HINTS?'

"You bastard! What the hell-"

"Ah, why so harsh, Romano? Calm yourself down, will you?"

"Just tell me what the hell is wrong with Spain, dammit!"

He sighed. "He's just idiotically concerned that you won't accept his feelings."

"W-What? But I even- I mean, why would he think that, dammit?"

"For one, he is the most clueless person I ever met..." I have to agree on that. "Also, because you ran after he told you he loves you. Which he was already worried about telling, since he was afraid you had that reaction."

What?

"... I... I didn't run away!"

… Did I?

"Look..." he sounded a bit tired but I had a feeling he was just trying to sound dramatic on purpose. "Even if he seems to understand you better than anyone else, Antonio is still quite clueless sometimes, as I mentioned. If you had hit him and called him a bastard, he probably would have accepted it as an 'I love you too'. Now, if you just left him there, no wonder he's concerned."

… That's it? … I... I just didn't know what to do at the time, dammit!

And how much does this bastard know of what's going on? Dammit, Spain!

"If you find a way to tell him without actually saying the words, I'm sure he'll get it... probably... possibly... let us hope so..."

"Hmm..." That's so enlightening... not.

"I'm sure he would understand it and be very happy if you just let him get in your pants! I know I would be!"

… I hate this guy.

… And I just had a very awkward mental image because of that... Damn Spain for keep appearing in my head like that! And stupid wine bastard! But I'm actually surprised he didn't said something perverted earlier! Well, maybe he did and I didn't even noticed it! Who knows?

"I'm going to hang up, dammit!"

"Wait!" he whined in a high pinched voice before I reluctantly let him continue. "I'll send Antonio home with a few calming words! But be sure you do something that tells him how much you love him or else-"

"Okay! Okay! Dammit!" I don't even want to know what he would do. Seriously. With Spain arriving there any time now, I don't want him to have any weird ideas.

"_Magnifique~!_ Then, I would like to have explicit pictur-"

I almost broke the table as I hanged up.

…

I should focus now. What should I do? France told me he would send him home... then maybe I should just wait for him there... and I'll think of something to say or do along the way...

… that bastard... maybe he would get it if I insulted and kicked him... he seems to like that...

I allowed myself to smirk quietly to myself at that , I hurried my step to leave the house. When I arrived to the kitchen, I noticed the potato bastard sitting at the table with an odd face. He looked back at me.

Just now, he was... serviceable... I guess he can't be such a bad guy... right? And he has some sense of decency now that I think of it... I guess my brother could have found worst...

"Hey, hmm, bastard, I... hmm..." that caught his attention. "... maybe you're not that bad..." he opened his eyes as if surprised. "W-What? I-I'm not that bad either..."

"Nothing... I mean... hmm... thank you." he said, still a bit unsure.

Awkward.

"Tell Feliciano I went to Spain's, okay?" he just nodded as I took hold of the doorknob, taking a even more serious expression. "And don't even think about hurting my brother. Ever. Or I'll hunt you down and make sure you'll be sleeping with the fishes in no time. Got it?"

He looked just as serious. "Yes, do not worry." he took a few seconds to read the message hidden between my words. "... And... thank you."

You better be damn grateful! I just gave you guys my blessing!

"You're welcome. Just don't get the wrong impression, I mean, you're no less of a bastard just because I'm feeling particularly _cheerful_ today!" I remained serious through my explanation and then proceeded to open the door in an abrupt movement.

The sunlight uncomfortably hit my eyes the second I opened it. Still, I managed to quickly close the door behind me and proceed walking in a rushed step trying to convince myself there was noting to worry about.

Now, I shall focus on my own problems once again.

I just hope I can think of something to show Spain he didn't scared me away... On the contrary, I don't think I've ever been so eager to see that bastard before in my entire life, dammit!

… Now that I think of it, 'eager' sounds weird... I'll just go with 'in need'... Wait. That sounds even worst! … What the hell! Why do I keep seeing other meanings in everything, dammit? Okay, it doesn't matter... I just need to see that bastard and that's it!

_… Mio Dio!_ I feel like such a moron!

**x-x-x**

_***** Alexithymia is a term used to describe a state of deficiency in understanding, processing, or describing emotions. In short, the inability to express feelings with words._

_Some symptoms may include (I shall quote): "find it difficult to talk about your own emotions; be perceived by others as excessively logical, or unsentimental without being unfriendly; be perplexed by other people's emotional reactions; give pedantic and long-winded answers to practical questions; make personal decisions according to principles rather than feelings; suffer occasional inexplicable physiological disturbances such as palpitations, stomach ache, or hot flushes."_

**x-x-x**

"_Bonjour~!_" → "Good morning~!"

"_mon cher_" → "my dear"

"_Oui?_" → "Yes?"

"_étant le pays de l'amour_"_ → "as the country of love" (thanks Lovetemashika for correcting me - I had written 'comme' instead of 'étant' – even if it wasn't wrong, I want it to look more proper)_

"_Magnifique~!" → "Magnific~!" / "Magnificent~!"_

_'Mio Dio!' → 'My God!'_

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_There's a high chance I'll go camping for a week starting next Tuesday, so I'm going to try finishing the story before that (a whole week without my computer... how's that even possible?). Just two more chapters, it seems. I hope I can do it. ''OTL_

_Aww. This chapter lacks Antonio! D':_

_Also, FRAAAANCE~! 333333 _

_And the 'sleeping with the fishes'... if you got it, let me tell you I just had to... *chuckles awkwardly*_

_Now, you guys... *melts*_

_I'm very, very happy so many of you seem to be enjoying this~! I really am! You guys are absolutely priceless~! I'm not even sure what I should say... To keep it short, I'm very happy and thankful~. *hugs readers* S2_

_I'm so afraid of disappoint you, though... TT_TT_

_Concerning my grammar... I'm so sorry! I hate to make grammatical mistakes! I'm very picky about that, to top it all, so I do what I can to correct every single one I see. Some of them are from distraction, but others... well, I wish I was even more fluent, but it's hard. I mean, I'm having English at school for the past six years already, but we give the same things over and over again each year. It's very annoying, I haven't actually studied for the subject for the past four years and I've managed to be in the top of my class even so. It's just that boring. I wish we could do more interesting things in English class, it could be a lot of fun... ;_;_

_Anyway... I'll update as soon as I can~. ^^_


	13. Maybe

**A/N(2)**

**To anyone who reads this: I'M VERY, VERY SORRY. What I thought was going to be a small delay turned out to be a huge delay, so I'll only going to be able to post the last – already written but not revised and edited - chapter after coming back from camping.**

**I just want you to have a nice read and a nice ending. S2**

**Again, I'm so, so sorry, you guys! TT_TT *sulks in the corner***

**x-x-x**

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

Chapter 13

**Maybe**

Just as I remembered, his house has 'Spain' written all over it. Well, not literally, of course, unless for the flag hanging from the main balcony. It's just... this is quite idiotic for me to even think like it, but... if houses could smile... yeah...

Either way, I was pretty fast to get here, all and all.

And I've been thinking about something to say or do on the way, to see if Spain will stop worrying... but I'm still confused about it... I'm not sure what to do...

But he's the one that did everything so far, so... I guess I have to try to be a little less of a bastard to him... just... just a little... yeah...

It's still quite embarrassing to admit it, even to myself, but... I don't want him to withdraw what he said... I mean, it actually felt somewhat_ nice_ to hear that, specially because, even as Spain is, he wouldn't lie like that... Yeah, it actually felt _somewhat nice_... okay... _very nice_... okay... _really __good_... fine... my cardiovascular system even shut down for a moment back then... _in a good way_.

… I'm helpless! And he's a bastard for making me feel such things!

… And what the hell am I doing standing in the middle of the street? I'm such an idiot! 'Like I need to stop to think! I'll just go in and-

… oh...

I actually feel as if the stupid red gate is now laughing at me... Dammit! I don't think having him arriving to see me standing here is a good plan. That would be just plain awkward, like 'Hey! I knew you weren't at home but I came to see you anyway!"... That actually sounds like something Spain would do, not me...

I mentally face-palmed at my own thoughts before realizing there was this little orange pot outside, next to the gate... Don't tell me he actually keeps a key under there! 'Guess I'll just lift it up and- no, he doesn't... which brings me some sort of relief since that would mean anyone could get in easily.

Still, how to _I_ freaking get in?

… What if I jump the gate? I mean, it's not that tall... if I support myself between the wall and the gate itself, I may be able to do it!

I clapped my hands together, approving my own decision. And then, I started climbing the damn thing, supporting my feet wherever I could.

…

… So far, I managed to have my elbows supported on the top of the wall... but I don't seem to be strong enough to lift the rest of my body! Dammit, dammit, dammit!

Suddenly, before I even had time to realize what was happening, I was snatched from my place and promptly brought back to the floor. I found myself staring into a red-eyed bastard.

"_Chigigi_! What do you want, dammit?"

"Ah! It's you! I thought Spain was being robbed or something!" the ex-nation laughed in a particularly annoying manner before letting go of my shirt. "What are you doing anyway?"

"That's nothing of your business!"

"'Sure is! Spain's one of my best friends! And an awesome best friend like me doesn't allow people into other best friends' houses like that!"

"Whatever! I-"

I was interrupted by some sort of crazy electronic music. He withdrew of his cellphone and checked the visor, a grin forming in his face as he answered it.

"_Hallo!_ 'Missing the awesome me already, _mein lieber freund_?" There was a little pause in which the other person must have answered him before he continued. "Actually, I'm just outside Spain's house! Can you guess who I found trying to sneak inside?" I huffed at him.

Who the hell is he talking to?

"That's awesome, man! How did you know?" _What?_ "Really?" he laughed in my direction and I had to refrain myself from hitting him. "What? Spain's there?"

Dammit! It's France! What the hell?

The bastard stayed quiet for a few moments, seeming to hear everything it was being said carefully, before replying. "Sure! For Spain! Hold him a bit more there and make sure he doesn't know about this!" he took a step closer to where I was standing. "_Auf wiedersehen!_"

I just stared at each other for a few moments. However, he was grinning his head off while I just looked at him with a massive scowl.

"'Need help?" he finally broke the silence.

"No, I'm doing just fine, dammit!" I started climbing the gate again before realizing I couldn't move beyond the position I was just before the bastard has showed up.

"It doesn't look like it, you know?" I just hissed a couple of swears under my breath. "_C'mon!_ The awesome me will help you!"

Dammit! First, the potato-head helped me, then, it was the wine bastard... now this one two? And I'm actually complying... for Spain's sake even... damn... that bastard is a blow to my pride...

"Alright, dammit! But don't do anything funny!" I turned my head around to see he was just staring, having no clue what to do to help.

"Oh, well..." he shrugged before taking another step forward. I aggressively kicked his hands away with both my feet when I realized he had decided the way to help was to push me up by my rear. Thankfully, I was fast enough in seeing it before happening.

"D-Dammit, you freaking potato-head! Don't touch me! Just make a step with your hands or something!" he looked emotionless. "You know, for me to climb?"

"Sorry! Forgot _that_'s for Spain only!" he laughed annoyingly and, before I could snap him a nasty comment, he had already followed my suggestion. Though, instead of letting me support my feet on his hands - actually, I would have stepped very hard if I had the chance to do so - he just decided to push them up by himself.

With that, I ended up really high and I had to sit on top of the gate in order not to fall. I stared down to the smiling figure, my frown still in place, before hovering my feet around and step down to the other side, using the gate as a support.

"There you go! And you're welcome~!" I heard the annoying voice on the other side of the gate, not bothering to look at him. "Now, do something nice for Tony, will you?" and not bothering to hear my reply, he left.

And so, I turned around and took a look at the house that was now in front of me.

When I manage to reach the front door I cheeked for it to be locked. And it was. Hmm... With this weather, I bet he must have forgotten to close some windows... or just left them open like the idiot he is... Well, time to check them, I guess.

I didn't had to search for long to find a half open window not that far away.

… It is a little small, but I'm sure I can fit in and still have some space left around me... So, I reached forward and lifted the blinds with one hand as my head peeked in... hmm... it goes straight to the hall. Alright, that will certainly do. I have no time to lose, no idea when Spain's getting home and I still need to think about something to show him I'm not scared or whatever... yeah... But he will still have to pay me back for all the trouble he's putting me through-

… Dammit! I accidentally – and very painfully - banged my head against the top of the window when several ways for Spain to compensate me for this ran wildly across my mind... I-I can just bet his idiotic friend's pervertedness is contagious, d-dammit!

After managing to get in through the window without any major complications besides banging my head onto the top of it once more, I roamed around the house hoping to find something that could give me an idea of what to do. I eventually found myself on the first floor, looking... no... glaring at Spain's bedroom door...

I-I mean, if there's anything that can help me is in there... since... hmm... it's Spain's personal space... yeah...

And so, I proceeded to enter – rather awkwardly - in his room, only to fall onto the bed after stepping in some piece of clothing he left spread on the floor... The bloody idiot!

…

… Hmm? What the hell is this between the sheets? … A book?

The curiosity took the best of me, so I stretched my hand to grab it... Dammit, it's quite heavy for a book Spain would actually read-

'_Diccionario - Español-Italiano y Italiano-Español'..._?

…

... Hmm... That... That actually gave me an idea...

**x**

I roamed through the first floor trying to convince myself that what I was about to do would be worth it. It's just such a simple plan and I'm sure it will get my point across. Yes, Spain will get it for sure. It's perfect and it's not like I have to make anything elaborated, it's so simple it has to work.

Still, it's a major blow to my pride... But, then again, it's Spain... it's... Antonio...

I can't help to feel bad, though. All my life I've been acting like a bastard to everyone around me. Even to him, who always managed to have a smile on his face when I had the most annoying and fear inducing scowl on mine. I could tell when he was hurt... and it hurt me at least twice as much to be the one doing that. And it hurt not telling that I was sorry, that I cared, that I was just too afraid to face anything. It hurt starting to develop strange symptoms around the single thought of him. It hurt to understand what it all meant.

It hurts not admitting what I feel. Admitting that... maybe I like his smiles, maybe I like his hugs, maybe I like those simple kisses he gave me, maybe I want him to give me more, maybe I like the fact he hasn't ever turned away from me, maybe I love him as well.

So I'm going to swallow my pride and do this. Even if it's just this once, I want him to be sure... And when I ever inevitably start trying to fight him, he can be sure when if I don't mean it.

...

… Wait! I think I heard the front door opening... and two familiar voices...

"Aww, but Francis-"

"Stop whining! It's enough I had to drag you here!"

I tiptoed until the top of the stairs, being sure to be out of sight. Then, I manage to hide in a spot where I could see them just barely; however, I had to be careful for them not to see me.

"Sorry..." Spain, who had been looking at the wine bastard, lowered his head looking defeated.

"It's fine, just stop worrying!" Spain didn't seemed like he was doing that. "_Mon ami_..." he rested a hand on his shoulder - which made me want to reveal my presence just so I could prevent any perverted advances from the wine bastard-... but he kept his distance, for once, and continued after getting Spain's attention again. "I've told you countless times before than I'm sure, along with the rest of the world, he likes you back. You just have to wait he'll show you that..."

… He's really trying to help me, isn't he?

Spain sketched a small smile before seeming to go somewhat nostalgic once again. "That doesn't sound like Lovino at all..."

France sighed.

"People do crazy thing when in love!" he smiled. "You've seen it in the films, right? Even in your _telenovelas_, I'm sure!" he said, trying to get Spain's moral up as he started to dart odd looks everywhere he could look at... is he looking for something?

"... I suppose... Hmm... Eh, Francis, why are you looking around?" he did he same.

"No reason! I'll be going! STAY HERE, ANTONIO! I WILL BE GOING NOW, LEAVING YOU IN THE _PRIVACY_ OF YOUR _PRIVATE_ HOME WHERE YOU CAN DO THINGS _PRIVATELY_!"

I got it already, dammit!

"... Why are you shouting?" Spain kept looking around the room curiously, thankfully not bothering to turn around. Silently, I allowed Francis to see me. He noted me right away and when he gave a satisfied grin I just waved my arms as if I were driving off a pigeon.

"No reason! _Au revoir~!_ And have fun~!" with that, he gave a spin and fled outside in less than two seconds.

"... 'have fun'...?" Spain stared at the place his friend had been before starting to turn around with a shrug.

He half-jumped in surprise when his eyes landed on me.

"Lovi?"

… Ops... I guess I forgot I was in sight... Anyway, he would have to see me at some point, right? Hmm... But I don't want to fix things with a staircase in front of us... that kind of ruins my plan...

"Lovi?" he repeated, still looking confused. "Are you alright? Did something happened?"

"Ah! Yeah! I-I just needed to see you- I mean, talk to you, d-dammit!"

He gave a little smile that soon faded into a nervous expression. I guess my words weren't the best to soothe him, either... I could have said something that looked more positive, dammit! … I just wish he could just smile and return to his cheerful self... I feel awful...

"Sure..." he gestured me to follow him, trying on a odd and nervous smile again.

**x-x-x**

"_Hallo! (…) mein lieber freund?"_ → "Hello! (…) my dear friend?"

"_Auf wiedersehen!_" → "Goodbye/See you later!"

'_Diccionario - Español-Italiano y Italiano-Español'_ → 'Dictionary - Spanish-Italian and Italian-Spanish'

"_telenovelas" _→ Spanish soap operas

"_Au revoir~!"_ → "Goodbye/See you soon~!"

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_I'm so tired but I wanted to post this today, so please forgive any mistakes. ;_; Maybe tomorrow I'll revise again or something... I just... really need to start having decent sleeping hours... ''OTL_

_So, turns out, I'm not going camping tomorrow... the people who invited me had a little uncalled situation, which means we will only go Thursday (less two days than we had hoped, but what can a person do?). So, the last chapter will be posted until Wednesday, I suppose. ))_

_And now it's the moment I tell you that the scene with Gilbert helping Lovi to jump through the gate before Spain's arrival is in my head since the day I first had the idea for this story. … Don't ask! I don't know why the hell either! xD_

_*gets ready for the last chapter*_

_It's actually ending... TT_TT_

… _Not that I'll stop writing these two, of course! But it's just... eh... you know, right...? *sulks*_


	14. Inevitably

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia or the characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used._

**x-x-x**

_**A/N**_

_If you didn't read the delayed note I left on the previous chapter last week, you probably are not aware of the reason behind this chapter's delay. In short, I didn't had time to revise and edit it before leaving for camping, that's why I'm only posting it now. Also, I ended up staying there longer than intended._

_NOW, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT._

_Thank you so much to all of you. The Story Alerts, the the Favourites and the Reviews... they all mean so much to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And, of course, an extra thanks for the reviewers. You guys really helped a lot with my motivation and self-confidence towards this story. Your kind words really do mean a lot to me. As your constructive criticism, which I also do appreciate and believe it can really help me to improve (or, at least, try). Many more thanks. 333333_

_Honestly, I never even expected this story to be seen by anyone, I thought it would go deep into the massive pile of fanfiction and be left forgotten right in the first chapter... So, yeah, big surprise. xD_

_LAST CHAPTER._

_But it's alright, I have plenty of story ideas ahead. SpeRo everywhere. And maybe a GerIta one... with heavy hinted SpeRo in it along with another pairing I've been thinking about lately. I don't see those guys anywhere but it's funny to think about it._

_I really hope you enjoy this (huge) chapter and don't feel disappointed. There were certain things I had a problem writing... *covers flushed face* … because I'm an embarrassed idiot, but, I'm aiming to improve... hopefully... someday... somehow... ''orz_

_Also, the bird story... it was an idea of the moment... that actually sounded cute. ;w;_

_LOVE YOU ALL AND ENJOY~! S2_

**x-x-x**

Chapter 14

**Inevitably**

"_Soo, Spaaiin..._"

I felt him eyeing me uneasily. I never saw him like this. Never. And I definitely don't like this situation. I wish he would just know. Why can't he... read the air or something? Dammit! Why does this have to be so hard?

We were sitting on the porch, facing the tomato field that surrounded half of his house. And thank goodness for the sun blind and the soothing breeze, bringing us shadow and the reassurance we wouldn't freaking melt on the spot.

"Are you feeling alright, Lovi?"

"Of course I am, dammit! Why shouldn't I be?" I couldn't help to snap even though I was aware of my burning face and unsteady gasps of breath.

"... You just... You're acting a bit odd..." that made me realize I was balancing back and forth like some God-damn maniac... so, I stopped doing that. And he just kept staring at me… D-Do you have to make this even more difficult, you bastard?

"E-Everything's fine, dammit!"

"Hmm..."

I sighed, trying to calm down. "... No, I mean it... Everything's fine..." I said in a more quiet tone.

"... Hmm?"

Oh! You clueless piece of- _Chigigi!_ Why can't you get it by yourself?

"J-Just because a person doesn't gives you an answer or something doesn't mean... it doesn't mean... it doesn't mean they don't..." these aren't tears in my eyes, absolutely not. And I'm not looking up to prevent them for falling or anything, I'm just admiring the sun blind, yes...

"... Lovi, you...?" I want to see his face but I don't won't to become more nervous than I already am... "I'm sorry if I scared you..."

"I've told you I'm not scared by anything, dammit!"

"It's nothing wrong with-"

"S-Shut up! Just... J-Just listen, okay?"

It's time.

I took hold of his hand and turned my head to face him. I-It's so, _so_ embarrassing! Why can't I just beat him up and leave? Why do I have to listen to my stupid consciousness that for once wants me to be completely honest?

… Why can't I help staring at his face? Dammit, Spain! Will you stop blinding me with those eyes? I need to focus here, you have to be sure I'm telling you the truth!

My head is starting to hurt and my face feels like its going to melt any second now...

"Lovino...?"

… I'm going to die! I'm going to freaking die! I need a shovel, I want to dig a hole right here and disappear from his sight, dammit!

...

… Okay, I'm going to take a deep breath... There.

Focus, focus, focus.

"A-Antonio..." I noticed his eyes widened slightly at his name. "_Y-Yo quiero estar contigo... Y __yo también... también... Y-Yo también te..._"

Shit! I can't say it! I want to! But it's just... I don't know! Dammit, dammit, dammit! I though saying it in Spanish would be less complicated for me... and also more meaningful for him... Why can't I? … I should know better... I feel so freaking ridiculous, dammit!

"_Todo está bien, Lovino..._" he squeezed my hand and came to sit closer to me, to give me a hug. I felt myself losing the stiffness my body had gained without me even realizing it when he planted a quick kiss to my forehead. For God's Sake! I don't deserve this kind of treatment...

I pressed my head against his chest, to hid the embarrassment... being also engulfed by something that I can't really tell... something like... guilt.

"_B-Bastardo..._ Why do you keep doing these things...?" my voice sounded muffled.

"Lovino-" I looked up at him but didn't allowed him to interrupt me further.

"All my life I've been treating you so badly and you never did the same to me, dammit! You are always there when I need you! You are so good to me! Why do you do that? You don't have to! When I was your henchman you really could have ordered me around! And now that I'm independent you didn't backed way, you just kept on acting like this! You don't have to have me as a burden! You can find better than me! Why are you such a masochist, dammit?" Actually, I really don't want him to be with someone else... the mere idea makes me freaking sick...

"_Lovino, por favor-_"

"You keep indulging me and I can't even say '_I love you_' back though I do, dammit! That's how much of a bastard I truly am!" I buried my head in his chest again, grasping at his shirt like it would keep me sane.

… It took me a while to realized what I had just said. I suppose he must have noticed because he stood still for a moment before hugging me back... _fiercely_ hugging me back - heart beating extremely fast, hands grasping my back, head supported by mine. I guess I ended up telling him after all...

"You are not a 'bastard'." he whispered after a while.

"I am! I am a bastard and a God-damn _rotten tomato..._" my voice had calmed down.

"... what?" he sounded honestly confused. I guess I'll have to explain him...

"You don't eat a rotten tomato because it tastes like crap. Why do you stay by my side if I'll act like a piece of crap?" he said nothing. "There's no point in being good to me because I am not."

For a few seconds, nothing happened. I started to wonder if my words had actually sink in when I felt his chest shaking slightly. Before I even realize what was happening, he was already bursting into laugher. I decided to look up, to surprised to even frown at his reaction.

I have to be honest, when I finally heard his laugh and saw him smile like that, I could only ask myself how did I managed to spend half a day without him.

… and then I just went freaking pissed off about it. I mean, I'm being serious, I'm telling the truth, I'm freaking spitting my damn heart out to him! And he laughs! He freaking laughs! Oh, I'm going to tell him something, something nasty! Maybe I'll even headbutt him like in the old days! Oh! I will! I-

"You are not like a rotten tomato, Lovi!" his smile softened when he said those words. And by the look on his face he seemed to be speaking what he believes to be truth. Something tells me not to fight him on that...

Before I knew better, he took hold of my face and leaned closer for a simple kiss on the lips. A little dazzled, I relaxed into it right away, the sudden proximity feeling very comfortable and welcomed... and I couldn't help to feel he parted to soon... I guess he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable or something... thought, I don't think I wouldn't mind whatever he would like to do...

… _Mio Dio_... I sound so stupidly lovestruck...

"Even if you remind me of a particularly healthy and tasty one when your face goes all bright red from embarrassment... just like now~!" he gave me a big grin.

...

That's it.

I punched him on the arm... but for some reason I wasn't able to put much force into it... He made a playful face and pretended to fall on the floor hurt. "Oh! The pain!" he dramatized very badly since he was enabled to restrain his laughs.

… I don't care how much I like this bastard, I'm going to have to kill him if he keeps embarrassing me like this, d-dammit!

Out of the rush of the moment, I jumped on top of him ready for revenge on that comment. Only when I was face to face with Spain, I realized I had no idea of what to do. And the sudden realization that I was actually on top of him, holding him down, so very close to him, made me flush even more. He just smiled and decided to roll me over, inverting our positions... t-the b-bastard!

"W-What the hell do you think you're doing, dammit?" I managed to stutter, feeling my face going warmed and warmer.

"Hmm~. Spontaneously seizing an opportunity you gave me~?" he sang happily.

He may have noticed my murderous face, since he took a more calm expression, even if he never stopped smiling. "Lovino..." he decided to take hold of my face once more – probably having to rest his weight on his elbows-, though he didn't look as if he was about to kiss me... w-which didn't left me d-disappointed... o-of course not! "I really love you, Lovino. And I don't like to see you being so paranoid and pessimist all the time. You have yourself in such low consideration..." I was focused on his eyes... they seemed to be getting somewhat nostalgic...

"You're a good person..." I looked away, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "Lovino! You are! You are! Look at me!" the order caught me of guard, making me facing him without even thinking about it. "You build a wall around yourself for protection. I understand why you may want to do that, Lovi, but sometimes it can make people very confused... Either way, sometimes I can see through that wall... You insult people but you never actually want to hurt them, do you? I can see how much of a good person you are... though, you don't want to get hurt along with your overreactions, your need to be defensive, all that..."

However, I can't even get defensive now... my consciousness doesn't allow me...

"... Do you remember that time with the bird, that little bird that was born in the tree next to your room... you kept complaining about him and the noise he made... until that really windy day when he ended up felling of the tree..." he smiled gently. "... you took care of him for ages... it was so hard to convince you to let him go..."

I remember... And that was just because... hmm... he was occupying space on the ground and stuff... yeah... and I didn't want him to go because... hmm...

_Hunf!_ O-Okay, it was a cute bird... I kind of got used to it... I mean, I'm a freaking human being, dammit!

"You are so nice and protective towards your brother even though you clearly feel bad when people seem to like him better... You would insult me and headbutt me but you were being defensive and you started to be very protective at some point, distrusting every single people that came close to me..." I... I didn't knew _he_ knew... "You're trying to show how strong you are and making everyone else believing that that's it... but that's not it! You are so much more and so much better than what you try to show, Lovi..."

… I never imagined he could ever say such things to me. Hell! I didn't even knew he knew that much!

Either way, for him to have such a serious – and literally thoughtful – moment, trying to convince me I'm not as bad as I see me to be... it's clear who's the greatest and kindest soul here. In a way, it's hard to believe he actually, he actually... _loves_ me... But he would never lie to me in such a matter.

"But, of course, I'm very interested in being the only one knowing certain things about you, hmm~." he sang, giving me a quick kiss in my neck.

I trust he's trying to break the heavy atmosphere since neither of us is very good at dealing with it. B-But... that last sentence and the small action from him... i-it's still embarrassing... a-and kind of... interestingly appealing...

"You don't really have to say anything to this... and I don't want you to storm of either..." he had gone serious again, for a moment. "Just promise me you'll reflect upon what I said whenever you start feeling down or without trust on yourself." I nodded in agreement and he gave me a huge grin in response. I decided to stare away for a moment to give it a thought.

I'm... I'm definitely going to think about what he said later... If Spain, as clueless as he is, got certain things... I-I'm not saying I managed to drink everything he just said but... maybe, _maybe_ I'm not that... hopeless...? And now I'm thinking... if Spain doesn't give up from me, then, that means there's still hope and something good about me, right?

… _Chigigi!_ He's still staring at me!

… smiling calmly... tantalizingly... hmm...

Since the first phase of my plan was already kind of complete... kind of because I managed to say it... thought, not directly... I now can move on to the second and last phase... that consists on a simple word... which he actually taught me when I was younger... for some weird reason...

"I have a demand, though..."

"A demand?" that left him perplexed for a second. "Tomatoes? Pasta?"

"N-No... It's something to show you I really want to... b-be with you... and that I trust you..."

He seemed happily interested about it.

"_¡B-Bésame!_"

And now he just looks perplexed.

"_¿Q-Qué?_"

"D-D-Dammit, _b-bastardo_! Y-You heard me! Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to say it-" I felt his lips fiercely pressing against mine in a flash.

… B-bastard! He did understand, dammit!

… I... I don't care... I-I prefer to focus on t-this...

He didn't just started fiercely, he actually kept on going like that... It was clearly different from the other times, but, honestly... i-it's kind of interesting to... the way I can feel his strength, his hands on the sides of my face, his soft scent surrounding me... I felt like I'm going to melt at any moment but I honestly do not care.

His... his... dammit, I have to stop surrounding the subject! His k-kisses make me feel light-headed and give weird sensations all trough the rest of my body. That should be enough for me not wanting them. The new and strange sensations should scare me... well, they actually do... however, they also make me feel - _this is so pathetic -_ special and warm and curious and so oddly good! Oh, dammit, how the hell does he do it?

… Oh, God! He feels that too, right? … I hope so... I mean- The hell! I mean it!

I moved my arms up around his neck trying to bring him closer... I could feel him smiling to himself like I remember him doing last night and, after a short amount of time, he calmed down just enough to nibble carefully at my bottom lip, asking for permission... and, as I said, I'm feeling curious, so...

This time, he didn't smile at my advances, at least, not on the outside… he just shifted a little and took the chance I gave him... I started to play with his hair trying to calm down a little... which I didn't managed to do. I have to take note it's hard to calm down when - _and I can't believe I'm actually doing and thinking such things_ – I have Spain's tongue roaming freely – yet far from clumsily - in my mouth.

… It feels so weird... in a interestingly good way...

My face feels so hot, dammit!

… H-Hey! J-Just noticing... w-where did all the air go?

Two seconds and he must have asked himself the same question since he smoothly broke the kiss. Oh, yes, fresh air, my lungs await! … Still... hmm... I would have liked to... hmm... I never got the chance to... hmm...

Suddenly, Spain lifted himself up and before I could say anything he pulled me along. We remained on the ground, but now he had me sitting on his lap, facing him awkwardly.

He pressed his forehead against mine, staring me deep in the eyes, while he regained our breath quietly. I've always been jealous of his eyes... they are from such an uncanny green... I don't think I can look at them right now, though... I feel so awkward and embarrassed...

"E-Ei, Lovi?" the green hue regained my reluctant attention.

"_¡Bésame!_"

"_C-Che cosa?_"

"_Bésame._" he repeated.

Ah! Great! Now he tells me I mispronounced it!

"_Bésame._" I tried.

"_¡No, no! ¡Bésame!_"

"_Bésame!_"

C'mon! I'm sure I'm saying it right, you bastard!

"_¡No, no! Lovi... Bésa__**me**__._"

… oh...

I... s-should I? He already d-did it, I should to… I w-want to... then, I guess I c-can...

"Close your eyes, dammit!" I demanded.

"Eh? Why? I want to look at your face beforehand~!" he smiled gently, brushing my cheek with his thumb.

No freaking way! I don't want him to see me looking like a retard or something!

"Do it or I won't!" I'm such a liar... but it's worth the shot.

He obeyed with a pout that soon faded to a expectant expression. His face... God! _… Appealing, appealing, appealing..._

Slowly, I leaned forward and before I knew it our lips were brushing again. It was soft and calm but I wanted to continue what we were doing just now... but something got in the way... Spain's hands were roaming freely, one resting on the side of my hips and one in the middle of my hair and I thought they were just stay there quietly when I felt one of them brushing my shirt up slightly and warm foreign skin brushing my own. At the exact same time I felt a shiver earning tug at my _particular_ strand of hair as it was tugged _slowly and lastingly_ by Spain's other hand along with more of my own hair. "Ah... Ann... tonio... nng..."

…

...

… W-W-Why the freaking hell did I made those s-sounds? _Mio Dio! Mio Dio! Mio Dio! Uccidermi ora! Questo è troppo vergognoso!_

Spain froze, probably becoming self-aware of his idiotic actions. A second later he had left my lips. Why was he looking so concern...? Shouldn't he be happy and poking fun of me...? Not that I want that, it's just weird he isn't doing it.

"Maybe we should calm down for a while and just relax and so..."

"W-Why?" What's wrong with him, dammit?

"I trust you want to take this slow, right, Lovi?" I nodded, looking away as I felt my face going warmer.

"Well, if you keep doing those sounds... I don't think I'll be able to hold back..."

… _Chigigi!_

It's your fault, you freaking brainless bastard!

… For a second, I had to resist the urge to get all over him again to see what he might do. However, he's being very considerate with me... and that actually feels very, _very_ nice... so I just nodded at his words.

He gave me a content smile and pulled me for another warm filled hug.

**x**

"I'm so happy for finally being able to be with you like this, Lovi~." his voice almost melted my brain.

We had been hugging for quite a while already... Actually, he had been hugging me for most of the time, since my arms just felt to tired after the first two minutes of it. Either way, it really pleases me to feel his embrace, his scent, his heartbeat, the way his chest moves up and down while he breaths... for some reason those little things are getting more and more fascinating... n-not he will ever know about it, of course... I still have a little left of my damaged pride...

"Hmm, something has been bothering me..." I waited for him to continue. "What do you like about me, Lovi?"

What the hell of a question, dammit!

… But it's a good and understandable query since I always go around pointing insults at him...

…

… Spain... Antonio...

I don't tell you but... I like the way you greet me, the way you talk to me, I even like you to be the only one that calls me 'Lovi'. I like the way you hug me and hold me, and now, I like the way you kiss me. I like your eyes, the way you smile and the fact you can be serious when necessary. I like that you don't let go, that you don't give up and that you run after me. I like your honesty, your positive attitude and that you are everything I'm not. I like you way too much... _I love you._

"Yeah, well... Although I claim you to be one so often..." I shifted a bit, pressing my head against his chest in a ridiculous tentative to hide my embarrassment. "... you're not that much of a bastard."

**x-x-x**

"_Y-Yo quiero estar contigo... Y yo también... también... Y-Yo también te..._" → "I-I want to be with you... And I also... also... I- I also (_) you..."

"_Todo está bien, Lovino..._" → "Everything's good/fine, Lovino..."

'_Bastardo_' → 'Bastard'

"_Lovino, por favor-_" → "Lovino, please-"

'_Mio Dio_' → 'My God!'

_'Bésame' → 'Kiss me'_

"_¿Q-Qué?_" & "_C-Che cosa?_"→ "W-What?"

_'Uccidermi ora! Questo è troppo vergognoso!' → 'Kill me now! This is too shameful!'_


End file.
